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All Comments on 'Your Love Ch. 01'

by cnhemingway

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  • 14 Comments
theognistheognisover 9 years ago
*****

Even unedited, I liked it. Natural writing talent apparent.

Five

emmy40emmy40over 9 years ago
Great start

Can't wait to read more!

emj417emj417over 9 years ago

Wonder if their significant others know their fav colors, food, animals, etc? I like this, and for some strange feeling, glad he was feeling her first.

ramonbrookramonbrookover 9 years ago
First off ...

I love the story! I'm not a wordsmith so I don't see anything wrong that stands out to me. One thing I believe you left out (I went back but could not find it) why the story is interracial. You stated that Stephen is Blonde with blue eyes but we don't know about Christina.

Very interesting story and hoping tell it further in more chapter(s)!

ramonbrookramonbrookover 9 years ago
Thank you CNHemingway!

Don't know how I missed it!

"and her skin a was a warm milk chocolate brown."

acupacupover 9 years ago
A good start

And very few errors that I picked up on. ( Not saying much according to my editor! ) I would have waited for a bit more of the story to fill out before submitting it, but take that with a grain of salt as well since I tend to long stories.

All in all a good start!

4 out of 5 only because it felt unfinished even for a multi part

FloribundaFloribundaover 9 years ago
This feels like a good start to an exciting and probably deeply romantic story

They are both missing something from their current lives and partners and throwing caution to the wind.... love it!.

Comentarista82Comentarista82over 9 years ago
Nice start

Interesting idea that both are engaged but not happy. I like the idea of them having fun with the chat, karaoke and then eating. This suggests a lot could happen, especially their mutual happiness. It will be interesting to see where it goes by how you write it.

GrntmbGrntmbover 9 years ago
Awesome start!

I definitely am liking this story. You've developed the characters really nicely without the usual how tall, how old, etc...all the descriptions came out in the narrative in a very natural way. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this progresses!

twistedsickmindtwistedsickmindover 9 years ago
Deserved

You deserved all of the positive comments you have received. My "Yes" to them all and 5*s. There are some really good writer on Lit and I bet you are going to be one of them. My advice is, take your time. I rushed some and am not happy that I didn't do my best. Post when the story is ready. Don't give in to impatience.

NotoriousilverNotoriousilverover 9 years ago
YEESSSSS. I can breathe again!

It's been pretty dry on Lit lately and this was like the perfect revival. Even though the story does seem kind of rushed I love it anyway. Please continue!

beautyinabottlebeautyinabottleover 9 years ago
i agree

With lit (mainly the bwwm category) has been so dry and all my favorites not finishing their stories. But you my dear are just want we need definitely loving this story so far.

pineapple_pussypineapple_pussyover 9 years ago
Yayyyy

Please finish it and dont stop in the middle or something haha. It has been pretty dry with this category im happy someone is writing i love it and hope you finish it ☺️

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SUP friends! So I graduated from college! (finally) And starting grad school in the fall! As far as writing goes my plan is to continue working on the Hungry for Love series. <3
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