- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Let Me...
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Click hereLet me under your skin where your secrets hide,
Let me in your ears, your thoughts, your hopes, and fears,
Let me see you you really are,
Let me see your dreams, your plans, your tears,
Let me in you, open your heart wide.
Let me show you my world, don't run and hide,
Let me tell you, my thoughts, my hopes, my fears,
Let me show you who I really am,
Let me show you my dreams, my plans, my tears,
Let me show you, open your heart wide.
- COMMENTS
While I do like the duality between the two strophes in the poem, I'm not so certain the message(s) contained within them do anything to open anyone's heart--wide or not.
That being said, I'm at a loss for suggestions to remedy it (if, in fact, it's not just my first impression and that anything needs to be remedied). Mostly, I think, the construct of the "let me"s opening each line limit how much can be done with said lines in a line-by-line manner.