- Novels and Novellas
- Broken Pt. 02
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All Comments on 'Broken Pt. 02'
by soul71
- 22 Comments
As good as the first part was, so bad is the second one, and the first part was really really good.
1 out 5 Stars
I love your Supernatural references if I wasn't already a fan of your writing this would have surely made me a lifelong fan that is my show. Five Star Story as usual my only issue with this story is Her excuses for what she did, To me it didn't make sense at all. Her screaming "Billy stop! Don't you hurt my Daddy!" shows that she wasn't such a victim in the whole ordeal. A real mother/ victim would have stayed with her child after her shitty father tossed her small child out of the way. She was more worried about being caught enjoying getting it from that old man. A real victim would have stayed and explain to her mother and her husband that she was being forced. Yet The only remorse that she showed about his Father suicide was a tear and the sad look. she never said I'm sorry about your father for your grandmother(her own mother) who was more of a mother to him then she was, even though she may have resented what he also represented(her cheating crappy daughter). Yes she was traumatized by her father later on with how he treated her and her daughter but that doesn't excuse not showing any sympathy for what he went through and what he suffered and the trauma he had to deal with. He also should not call her or thinking of her as his mother she has not earned that right. He Should refer to her by her first name not my mother or any other familial forms just my opinion. Like he said they are strangers to him I can't wait to see where you take this story I kind of think I know where it's going but I still enjoy the journey
A wonderful tale so far. A woman without a real man in her life. A lonesome man in need of a woman. Please Fate stop being a bitch and give this young man happiness in the arms of a voluptuous woman. Once she confirms her hopes of him being a good man the sparks will fly!
And damn it some part of the story got my eyes teary. Didn't expect that from my daily dose of smut lol. Looking forward to more of this tale. Please post more and bigger chapters. THANK YOU.
Really enjoyable instalment, my complaint is it was too short to really get into as there's so much that could out been put in this chapter to set in for a good story arc.
I liked your story, off to a good start, but kind of short.Looking forward to next chapt.
Wow you are really maturing as a writer. You are getting better and better. I liked a lot of your stories" beginning but then you had these weird transitions that made no sense. This story makes sense and I like where you are taking it. Look forward to the next part.
Very good follow up and I like how you made his mom a victim instead of a villain. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. As always great writing.
Enjoyed the sequel and the story build-up. Glad there is a reason for the affair.
I can understand the main character's dilemma. Also, your writing has improved significantly. Good job.
Great second part m8, we love how it's a nice slow build. we really hope that with the new info about how mom was "doing it" for her family that maybe he will kinda give her a second chance. again lovely chapter 2 cant wait to see how it plays out
I'm liking how this is going. You need to give 'Separated at Ten' this same treatment.
Looking forward to chapter 3. Thanks for writing this.
You see something that horrific at 6 years old and the persons you feel who caused it disappear for 18 years and then one shows up with your "sister" and you invite them into your home? Buy them a meal? Consider giving bone marrow?
He has not said he forgives her but his actions show it.
I would have tossed them off my property and even called police if need be.
So, how exactly is it her father had friends n another town hundreds of miles a way that they had never been to willing to commit literally tens of thousands of felonies by helping to keep her kidnapped and raped every day?
conspiracy to kidnapping (2 people) and rape =3 *365 days =1095 felonies a year *18 years = 19,710 felonies for each friend of his in the town they never once went to until they day they fled
How does a man make multiple friends like that?
Wow - The complexity of the emotions are almost overwhelming in a situation like this and you're doing an excellent job capturing them...5*
"Duh! You honestly think I enjoyed doing that?" My mother looked at me with a pointed look.“
I wouldve believed this if she didnt jump on Billy to stop beating Roy and screamed dont hurt my daddy!
“ "Please God, I know I have sinned. I have wronged. I have wandered from the path.” i assume this is begging for forgiveness for liking Roy more then Billy..?