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Click hereOur love never lost its passion and Danny Ray never lost his touch of gratifying me in the sack. Even after we were married, the romance remained strong.
Three months later, we were at the hospital with Barbara. I was her birthing coach and I was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as she was. The amniocentesis and ultrasound showed that the baby was normal. The pains started and her water broke. Sharon drover her to the hospital and texted both Danny Ray and I, and I texted my mom. Dad had to run the shop as I dropped very thing and ran.
Barbara asked for an epidural and she began to relax as the drugs hit her system. I as a little concerned to say the least about a drug addict getting a relaxant, but I couldn't begrudge her the pain relief. After almost an hour, she began to push hard. She was fully dilated and ready to give birth. The curse words flowed like water from her mouth as she sweated and breathed to my counting and constant encouragement. Her hand was holding mine so tightly, I thought she would crush it. Danny Ray stood beside me and rubbed my back. Barbara pushed hard and let out a scream like a banshee. I heard the doctor say, "He's here." Then I heard the wail of a new born pierce my ears. I sucked in a heavy breath and looked a Barbara, who was panting with relief and then a wide smile crossed her face. Danny Ray let out a breath that I'm not sure he knew he was holding. I leaned down to Barbara, kissed her cheek, and consoled her taught nerves, blowing in her ear to calm her.
The nurse cleaned off most of the fluids and placenta and wrapped him in a blanket. She bent to hand the baby to Barbara. Barbara shook her head, "Give him to his daddies." The nurse looked puzzled but handed the baby to me. He was beautiful. He was perfect, like everything in my life. "Austin, this is Aunt Barbara, she gave birth to you and I'm your daddy, Ethan. This stud by me is your amazing daddy, Danny Ray. Hold on tight little fella this life is one hell of a ride."
FIN
- COMMENTS
Loved this story overall even though it was a bit too sweet and literally had almost no sex at all. Because it’s so good I too feel the need to offer a bit of picky critique that seemed strange to me. First, Danny was such an alpha which was a point made over and over. But Ethan was a masculine jock too, yet he was presented quite literally “as the girl” in the story. I would have expected two studly guys would not confirm to traditional gender roles in the way they did. Yet then it seemed odd that Danny took Ethan’s last name and Austin therefore did not have the Suarez surname. Also the flirting incidence was just strained. Given the betrayal Danny later shared, and the fact that he deeply cared for Ethan, why in the world would he even remotely flirt with a cute waitress (he even held her hand)?! Who does that right in the face of their partner? And then he seemed clueless that Ethan was upset. Sure Ethan may have over-reacted but he surely had every right to object to that and be angry. It didn’t fit the otherwise devoted picture the story painted of Danny. Lastly, their quick I love you’s seem to come out of the blue - they had been together for like a month, had only been in like 4-5 dates, had not been very physical yet, and had just had a very emotional conflict. Ok, whatever. But the story really was great - a solid “5”! Would love to see another chapter on these guys.
A very good story. I've read it at least twice, maybe three times.
Right from the start it is realistic. Maybe a slight bit too upbeat. What that means is that the story has 'reality' blended into it, but most lives have more stress and turmoil than this story's version of reality or regular life shares with the reader.
There is no question that this story could have a sequel or second section from maybe 5 or 6 years later, adding in the raising of Austin maybe?
The writing style is wonderful, and continuing the story would be wonderful.
DV19
Like many other readers, I come here for EROTICA, and this story isn't that. However, like many other readers, I'm so taken with the general quality of the writing that I'll almost happily overlook its "deficiencies" (if you can really call them that) in the "trashy smut" department.
But, to my mind, that kicks the criteria for judgment to a higher level, and from that standpoint, this story is literally happier than a Disney princess story. The Prince Charming plays everything perfectly and does not possess a single character flaw. In fact, the only characters with any real flaws are (arguably) Lane and his poor widowed wife, who is the only one in the story not really delighted by lovingly supportive of the gay characters. (Danny's sister even gets her life together, miraculously.)
Don't get me wrong, this story is sweet, and I think it's intended to be, and in that regard it's a lovely little fairy tale. But there's really not any conflict in it at all. The only "issue" that comes up is the flirting incident, which reads as completely overblown (can you say "drama queen?") - If you threw in other incidents with Danny flirting hard with other women, it would make more sense, but just the one incident doesn't seem to justify the reaction. So, basically, it's a VERY sweet little romance story, but it's sooooo sweet that it may border on nauseating.
I agree with another commenter who said it could make for a nice little novella. More length would allow you to build up that "flirting" conflict and maybe delve into the baggage that Danny almost certainly has behind that perfect facade (you don't mistakenly kiss your dead boyfriend in a foxhole in Afghanistan while pinned down by enemy fire for an entire night without SOME kind of emotional trauma - PTSD, rage, depression . . . SOMETHING). The Marines may have helped Danny work through his brother's death, but that Afghanistan wound is still pretty fresh.
But seriously, the "bones" of this story are great, and I'm only nit-picking because the story is good enough to warrant LEGIT critiquing. You've written a wonderfully sweet story here . . . it just needs a bit more "bitter" to even it out a little, and to make the resolution you eventually arrive at seem that much more powerful by contrast.
Really good work.
I enjoyed reading this love story! It was so sweet and romantic. One more thing, woman go to Obstetricians when they're pregnant. Pediatricians are for children.
Really fall in love with their love! Good writing!