Jem Gem Ch. 04

Jem Gem 04

"Good morning, good morning, good morning, ladies! Breakfast and coffee are on the table!"

"Ah, wait a minute here, Jem Gem. I mean, Belinda charms her way into spending the night with you and just like that, I don't have to make your coffee in just my undies then? I mean, welcome aboard then, Belinda!

"(Tee, he)."

"Boom! Sit, drink, eat and let's not even pretend that Belinda didn't take her sweet charming time waking you out of bed this morning, Evie! Also, let's not pretend that I didn't have an amazing night last night! Like Boom!"

"(Ah, Belinda, what's happening here then?)"

"(LOL, the charm will wear off when I leave, Evie, but it was my best charm, so.)"

"(So, boom then, Belinda?)"

"(Boom, boom-boom, boom and backwards boom, so.)"

"Well then, Jem Gem, let's celebrate and hope to the heavens that this isn't causing any crew turf wars then."

"Boom, Evie, boom! Wait, what? I didn't mean to be in the middle of any crew turf wars, but I did learn a little something about boom and OMG, backwards boom, right?"

And then things went fuzzy just after Belinda left, but still, boom! I mean, I think there was some boom, right?

Anyways, as amazing as that night was because of all of the booming going on, there were enough other interactions between myself, a couple of the misfits, an outcast and of course, a top cool people David, that a turf war was a good possibility. Especially since I was smack dab in the middle of it all because I managed to get smack dab in the middle with my crazy ride home date with cool people David, which I followed up with turning the charm on misfit, Belinda the weird witch, which means I stole her away from the misfit pipeline crew and then I took her to the outcasts hang out spot at the Strip Mall parking lot, where I fell under the charms of Nate, a top official in the outcasts, which left misfit Belinda just enough time to mingle with the other outcasts, which is how turf wars start!

Also, other things are becoming clearer now, but I still think boom means sex, so. Or that's my story and I'm sticking with and the visions of Nate sneaking back over that night and satisfying Belinda are just bad memories of bad dreams, I think. I mean, let me check with Belinda.

"I mean."

"You're a stud who wears undies, stud."

"I mean, I was just checking, so."

"LOL, you invented backwards boom, so."

"And I was awake then, Belinda?"

"Ah, awake, charmed, spelled, same thing."

Alright, cool, I am a stud, so.

But onto the bewitched month of July when the 3rd Friday of the month fell on a Saturday for my famous wings and video mixer and the turf wars that were bubbling over right inside of my house because I had become so popular with every crew in Middleton, that each crew had reps present.

And there was ruckus!

"Alright everyone, listen up! This is my house and this is my famous 3rd Friday of the month wings and video mixer, even though it fell on a Saturday this bewitched month, but I won't stand for all this ruckus going on inside of my house! Now I'm not asking anyone to leave, but all of you had better figure out to settle down and get along and act like human beings and share some wings and play some video games together in peace and have some beer or some root beers and just plain ole get along! And if all you don't all settle down and play nice, then I'll kick your ass and I'll kick your ass and then I'll kick your ass because I'm a bad ass villain now and I have this egg beater [whirl, whirl, whirl] and I know how to use it, so play nice! Also, I'm sorry if my fist shaking looked more like a sex thing, but I've only been a bad ass villain for like two minutes! So?!?!?!?!?!?"

"I mean, it's."

"Oh, I just, you know."

"Well, it's all good, so."

"Well, I mean, Evie looks great in her dress. I mean, what is that, cling wrap or something?"

"Fine, I'll have some wings and a game, so."

"It's, well, I was going to ask Gina to prom, but she car jacked me two weeks before, so."

"So, um, it's all good, so."

"Can you shake your fists at me again, Jem Gem? Like in the back yard?"

"Well, as the cool person here, I can get along, but Belinda is my Misfit Girlfriend, so watch yourselves!"

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"Well, I'm trying to convince Belinda to be my Misfit Girlfriend, but I can still get along with others, so."

"Oh, my turn, I do things when the neighbor lady hangs her bra out to dry! Wait, I mean, uh."

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"I mean, I pick my neighbors veggies for her and she let's me peep down her blouse and it's a tie"

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"Ugh, I do stuff thinking about my neighbor lady, so wash any veggies you take from her garden first."

Oh, I mean, that was enough true confessions for one night.

"Enough! Also, Evie, I'm way out of my league here, so????"

"LOL, alright y'all, now that Jem Gem has his hissy fit out the way, settle down and carry on."

I mean, people listen when a cling wrap dress speaks, right? Well, we'll go with my hissy fit worked and everyone settled down, which meant I was working the wings, the root beer and the beer. But it also kept a good flow of people chit chatting with me in the kitchen.

Like outcast, Nate.

"I know that you're going to bed Belinda, Nate, but I still don't have any regrets from our time in the doggie park last weekend, so."

"Oh, I lost a nut, so I don't have any regrets either then. Also, I lost a nut and I'm over that now, but I mean, you're not going to go all bad ass villain on me, right Jem Gem?"

"Well, the truth is that I'm wearing super hero Spider Gwen undies tonight, so."

"Oh, Spider Gwen is the one who keeps managing to get caught naked in crazy situations, right?"

"Well, it's the venom and all, so are you going to mess up and whimper my name then when things reach a peak with Belinda then, Nate?"

"No chance, Jem Gem, I mean, maybe."

Oh, he'll whimper my name alright! I mean, it might be at the end of the night when he finds out that the tires on his SUV are flat from an egg beater, but my name will cross his lips!

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

Nate and Belinda make a perfect couple and I hope they can find away to be together even though they are clearly from different crews. I also hope that when a woman is sexed raw, then that's just a figure of speech because Belinda actually has an amazing female stride and the world is a better place for that, so.

Anyways.

"I don't know why you couldn't drag along a few of your other cool people friends, David. I promised you that I wouldn't cling to your arm in front of your cool people friends like Evie's dress is clinging to her body, so."

"I'll text with Nadine and Karla if you meet me in the bathroom and throw another hissy fit and shake your dainty little fists at me, Jem Gem."

I mean, LOL, how could anyone refuse an offer like that, especially from mister seven seconds in heaven, like last time in the highway turn around, right? Anyways, just a few quick touches sent him off and running by himself, although the dirty vision of David getting it on with the bathroom door frame was disturbing. Just disturbing.

"Hey, these wings are pretty good then."

"Well, Lenny, it's mostly Mildred at the Deli, so. And thanks for helping me keep the ruckus down earlier, so. You're a good cross over friend, Lenny."

"I mean, maybe we should go out back and talk for a while then, Jem Gem?"

"Oh, I mean, the patio is reserved for secretly making out with mixed and cross over crews and all, so."

"Oh, we fit that bill then, right Jem Gem?"

"Well, technically we do fall into a cross over category, Lenny, but the patio has been a revolving door all night, so there wouldn't be any "on the down low" going on and I know how your status would suffer if you were caught tongue tagging with some like me. There's a camera with a direct feed to my Chang homepage, so. But I like and appreciate the thought, so. Also, quick smack my lips and then go find someone more suitable to your crew status."

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

"Well, Lenny, I mean."

[Mwah, ummah, smack]

Whew, I mean, back to the story then, but whew, I mean, no, seriously, the patio doors sounded like one of those space movie doors. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, all night long, but it brought the people and their tongues together in peace, so.

And it covered the sound of someone sneaking up behind me too.

"Maybe I've miss judged the nerd crew then, Jem Gem. There's quite a bit of action going on here."

"Oh, Nadine [mwah], Karla [mwah], I didn't know you two had arrived, so."

"Well, I can understand how I could sneak up on you with all the swooshing that those patio doors have been making. Also, I may have miss judged you too then. I expected to see you in something a little more revealing, seeing how you're inside of your own home and all, so."

"Oh, I mean, I didn't want to cause a ruckus, but the two of you look amazing tonight, so."

And here comes the cool people attitude.

"Jem Gem, would you please carefully peel the meat of six chicken wings off of the bones for Karla and I, hm-mmm?"

OMG, right? Who had time to do that? Even though that seemed like such a cleaner way to munch on chicken wings, but no!

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"Of course, I will, Nadine. Did you two want a couple of Fortune Cookies too? And unbutton one more button on your jackets?"

"Hmmm, Fortune Cookies, eh? Can we jazz your friend Josh by double siding him as we eat our peeled chicken meat then, Jem Gem?"

"Please! I mean, don't kill him or anything, but please!"

"You're a good man, Jem Gem or a good girly boy, however that works. So, the Fortune Cookies then?"

"Look, it's not my fault that you and Belinda are estranged cousins right now, so."

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

[Waves hand, blocks, whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"It's alright, Jem Gem, I'm just glad that she's branching out. I mean, she's with an outcast right now, right? An outcast that you knew first, right?"

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

[Smacks wildly sideways at whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"Anyways, nice party, nerd boy and I'm not judging you. Let's get after it then, Karla."

Well, Josh really needed a little experience, so why not start with a double siding then, right?

"Well, damn, Jem Gem, this has turned out to be a major 3rd Friday of the month affair then! Also, don't go in your bedroom for a while. I mean, Belinda and Gina are from the same crew, so."

"I mean, is anyone even playing any video games, Evie?"

"Oh, um, the game couch is more of a staging area now, so. Oh, and pre dial EMS for Josh. And why are you having such a hard time addressing me as "roomie" then, huh?"

Because it's not official! Her and her mom schemed that at their family reunion party a few weekends ago and I had nothing to do with it! Although the extra attention that her Uncle Bert paid to me as he helped move her stuff in wasn't the worse thing in the world.

"Well, there are a lot of comments on my Chang page live feed, roomie, so."

"Well, leave the remaining wings alone and mingle around. I mean, misfit Vic just arrived and he might be happy to see you, so. Also, don't judge me if I disappear for a few minutes, but this dress is still causing quite a ruckus, so."

"Well, I bought two extra boxes of cling wrap if it gets wrecked and all and Vic is an outcast, so watch how you greet people, so."

"Either way, I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't mind helping you look around the laundry room for a bottle of vodka, so??? Also, you have back up for all that video on the patio, right? I mean, that's black mail gold with what's going on out there with all the cross over kissing and stuff!"

Well, duh!

"Hi, Vic, I mean, there is a bottle of vodka on the top shelf in the laundry room that I can't reach without having my shirt lift so high and exposing my belly button and my Spider Gwen undies, so????"

Oh, so it's just that easy to get help from a guy then?

"I thought it was a myth that certain guys had built-in step ladders, Vic."

"Well, it's more of a hand rail than a step, but it's not a myth that kissing the hand rail brings good luck, Jem Gem, so. Also, I wouldn't mind figuring out if it's a myth or not that you have some specialty with some velvety and soft touch about things, so????"

"Well, that may have been said once or twice and it was twice, by the way, but as you might have noticed, the laundry room has become the over flow for the back patio and my bedroom has a full house right now, so maybe we can talk another day then."

[Whimsical noise, sprinkle noise, star dust noise, charm noise, chime noise]

"I mean, there is a vanity makeup desk and a chair in my bedroom if you don't mind spectators and all, so."

Well, here's the thing, SOB, the laundry room had totally become an over flow spot for the rear patio and for the record, my mixer was the whip! I mean, Karla had produced a small whip from somewhere under her jacket and corset, so.

Also, I texted EMS and told them that Josh was on the brink and EMS texted back that they were in the kitchen finishing up the wings and waiting for my call, while viewing my Chang live feed, so.

But here's the other thing, who sits in the chair and who doesn't? I mean, if I sat in the chair, then Vic could just step forward and go all "ga, ga, ga" and oof, oof, oof" with me, but if he sat in the chair, then I could kneel between his man-spread position and go all "ug, ug, ug" and "gag, gag, gag" or something like that, so which way is the best?

End Jem Gem 04