All Comments on 'Mother Fantasy, Son's Downfall'
by AmaraSexy
- 84 Comments
I remember reading this story a while ago, not sure if this is a reposting or a rewriting. It had the same weird split between the fun fantasy bits & the boner killing aftermath. Still don't know what the point of the 2nd half is.
Every story needs a proper ending, some degree of closure. Some stories end leaving the reader wondering which direction things take in the end. This ending is nothing short of an extreme cliffhanger. A closing chapter would be very desirable, and in my opinion, very necessary. 5* work, but needs finishing!
I stand by what I wrote after reading the first version: It's disgusting, but still better than all the other stories using a plot like this.
Now, this version is a lot cleaner and easier to read, but, sadly, still a long way's off from perfect. There are still multiple instances of wrongly formatted dialogue, many, many typos, and the lack of a proper ending makes it hard to digest. Nonetheless, from a psychological standpoint, it is still just as intriguing as the first story. If you think it's possible, I sure hope you'll write a sequel actually detailing the consequences, though I guess they're pretty obvious as the video should show Collin's home, so he'll have a hard time defending himself.
"Somehow, it feels like I'm betraying my own son."
.
Feels like? Really? How can the incredibly obvious be a "feels like"?
Again you disappointed.
We really don't want a rewrite.
We want to know the aftermath.
We want to see what really happened after the discovery.
Its super hot but either make the mom and bully a couple or give us the aftermath
So let me get this straight... all of this was just the mom's fucked up fantasy of pissing on someone in her family with her lover?
Oh wait no... it's not a fucked up fantasy. SHE ACTUALLY DID! She pissed on her son and made him swallow it.
Then acts like oh it was just a fantasy I didn't do anything!
What next? The family finds out about her fucking affair with Collin and and does the same thing to her AND him. Oooh then they leave them tied up with duct tape and set th house on fire.
That would be the BEST ending after reading this shit!
Fucked up beyond belief.
I just can't believe I have to say this, but after she says "oh shit" and her whole family have rejected her (read the story) and she says "oh shit", that's the end!!! She is exposed!!! Her family now knows why the son is that way, she tried everything to hold on to reality, ever pushing it further away everytime. You want a chapter about divorces? Court battles? I am sorry about my grammar (how DARE is English not my native tongue), but I tried to correct my previous mistakes, I care that much. And when you comment about how much you hated the first time, and still hate it now, why are you even reading me?
Then instead of listening to criticism and complaining about it, correct your mistakes and try again.
Get another author to proofread your stories.
Plus no offense but the story was jumping all over the place. You switch from first person to second person to third person frequently. Stick with one type of POV.
Also as an author how can you not know what your characters are saying?
She clearly said "oh god!" not "Oh shit!"
Plus the way she said it sounded like you were thinking about adding more too it, but left it unfinished. So yeah you should talk about the aftermath of when the family watched her tape. Write about how her family now hates her. Write about her path to redemption.
Give us what we want on here... a good fucking story.
Just curious, what date was the original posted on? And is it just me or has there been more words added?
you're one to talk considering you wrote a couple of stories where the mother betrayed her husband and son.
Or that story "My mom's corruption" where the mother, Monica Desper, had sex with the bully, Seth Dougerson, of her own son, Doug Desper, and even defended Seth, her son's bully. Her younger sister, Maria, and Doug's Aunt ended up siding with Seth and even had a threesome with her sister and nephew's bully. Seth even said that he knows that Monica was aware of him lying when he said that Doug hit him when it Seth who hit Doug when he told him that'd he'd be having sex with his Aunt and Mother. Seth also said that it Monica thought it was funny and liked it when Seth bullied her son. Monica shrugged her shoulders when Monica looked at her after Doug said that Seth told him he was going to have sex with his mom and aunt.
In the latest chapter, Seth pissed on Doug's face and made him watch as he had sex with his mom. Later on, Monica only married John, Seth's Dad, to become Seth's Stepmom so she'd continue to have sex with him. When she became Seth's Stepmom, she did nothing as Seth made Doug watch as she and him had sex with each other, at first she was disgusted by it but even grew into having sex with Seth in front of Doug. If she was disgusted then she should have told Seth that they shouldn't be having sex in front of her son.
When Seth and Doug got into college, Monica and Maria would send photos and videos to Seth of them playing with each other. When they visited Seth and Doug, they hugged and kissed him and then reluctantly hugged Doug and then immediately went back to Seth. The moment Doug left his and Seth's room, Monica, Maria and Seth all had sex with each other and locked the door while Doug sat outside and listened for 4 hours, two guys even congratulated Seth for having sex with two MILFS.
And worst of all, Monica and Maria became pregnant with Seth's kids. Monica happily told her son that his half sibling(s) and cousin(s) would be born thanks to his bully. She then walked out of Seth and Doug's room without even looking at her son.
Monica Desper is a 41 year old woman and chose to have sex with her 19 year old boy toy, Seth. A boy toy that was only one year older then her 18 year old son, Doug. Monica started out as a strong willed woman but eventually became a slut for Seth after she and him had sex on their trip. Sided with Seth over her own son when they returned from the trip and was even cold towards him.
Maria (whatever her last name is) is a grown woman (you never said her age) who while younger then her older sister Monica, also started out as a strong willed woman and cool aunt until the character where she saw Seth's huge cock and sucked him off while lying to her nephew about wheather or not his mom, her sister, was having sex with Seth. She sided with Seth when her sister and him returned him.
Both sisters, Monica and Maria had incest with each other and even sent videos and photos to Seth and had Phone Sex with him while Doug listened. And they became pregnant with Seth's kids. Monica would be 42 years old by the time she gives birth to her kid and Monica is also a grown woman by the time she'll give birth to her kid. Seth will be 20 years old when his kids are bron. What's gonna happen in 10 or 20 years once Monica is 52 or 62 years old and when Maria also gets older? The two sisters are gonna be old and Seth will be 30 or 40 and will definitely leave both of them since they'll be too old for him.
What are Monica, Seth, and Maria's kids gonna think once they find out that they're not only siblings but cousins at the same time? Or when they learn that their own mom/aunt betrayed their uncle/brother thanks to their father turning Doug's aunt and mom into his sluts?
What will John Dougerson think once he finds out his new wife, Monica, and Sister-in-law, Maria, had sex with his only son, who's barely an adult. Or the fact that his new stepson, Doug, has been bullied by his stepbrother, Seth, who's also made him watch as he screwed Monica and Maria for who knows how long. Or that the kids of his son, Monica, and Maria are gonna be both siblings and cousins at the same time?
Doug hated what Seth did when he turned his Aunt and Mom into his sluts which is odd considering he had incestuous thoughts about his own mom and aunt, even jerked off to when Seth was having sex with Maria and Monica.
Quite hypothetical of you to say. Even though what AmaraSexy wrote about was even worse then your story and other stories about moms becoming sluts for their sons' bullies and leaving their own sons and husbands behind for their boy toys.
So I see that you are a fan of that story series then I take it?
Yeah Monica DOES defend Seth, but after the damage is already done. She didn't know Seth was still bullring her son despite him saying he wouldn't anymore.
Her marriage to Seth's father was because he was a strong make, like I described him in the first chapter. A man who takes no shit from anyone and even his son is afraid of him.
You do realize that in the last two chapters Monica and Maria realized that he was still a douche and tried to amend themselves by doing right by Doug.
Now tell me... how is my story "mom's corruption" similar to this?
It's not. So you trying to act high and mighty isn't doing you any favors Anonymous troll.
Like I say to everyone who reads my stories, if you got something to say, write me an email and send it to me. I'll respond in kind.
To another Anonymous and AmaraSexy comment: Rachel didn't say "oh god!" Or "oh shit!" She said "oh no!"
Asperger27's "mom's corruption" is nothing like this. Yes there was the one scene the bully pissed on him, but in the end, he got his comeuppance. He was disciplined by his boarding school's principal. While the son went on a vacation with his mom and aunt to their "home country" and fucked both if them. He even stated in his story that the mother changed her ways after she came to realize her actions.
Same as his other story that has the same element but ends with the bully moving in and living with the mom and inpregnating her.
doesn't do that with their story. Asperger27 gave details leading up to the mother's actions. AmaraSexy barely touched on it.
Plus their story didn't make sense.
Like Asperger27 said in his comment:
| All of this was her fucked up fantasy about pissing on someone in her family with her lover? Yet it wasn't a fantasy. She actually pissed on her son with his bully.
So you trying to roast him because his one of his stories has a similar setting is just wrong.
Learn to send emails to him and he'll respond in kind.
Fucking dumbass anonymous
This story stands out to me. In a good way. I like Femdom and the way the mother betrays her son, husband and the rest of the family is shocking but also very hot. I understand humiliation, Femdom and BDSM is not for everyone but you are a good writer and you encapsulated all of those things beautifully. Having said that I did like the first part much better than the last part. I like the fact that you did not end this story as a happy ending. I wanted the mother to some how get thru this in a evil kind of way. To me the mother was making this story go and when that stopped it lost some momentum. I really like to see authors who are not afraid to use Femdom/Taboo with humiliation and you did an excellent job. Writing about family members who betray and humiliate with Femdom is a tipping point for some readers who will not accept that kind of cruelty but to me you make it shocking and that is good writing. Five stars⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.
I read the "Mom's corruption" story and while Seth did get punished by the the boarding school in the first chapter. Where did it say that Doug went on a vacation with Monica and Maria to their home country? Seth went on the trip with Monica to her home country while Doug stayed with his Aunt Maria. If Monica and Maria did regret what happened, they would have stopped having sex with Seth and spent more time with Doug considering Seth changed his attitude once Maria called him out on pretending to care about Monica.
This is one messed up story. I do not mean that in a bad way. It is so complex. My suggestion for the next time - get someone to proofread your work. I understand that English may not be your first language but there were so many grammar mistakes that it took away from the story sometime. You need to be careful with pronouns, it made it hard to understand at times.
There needs to be a continuation with Rachel and Collin facing consequences for what they did to Michael. Like another comment said, the video was filmed in Collin's house so he'll also be in trouble like Rachel.
Despite the need of an editor to handle grammar, this story was very engaging. Brief on details I filled a lot in myself so it worked.
Unlike others, I cannot say this is sexually exciting for me. The damage done was too realistic. While I enjoy women being evil and betraying those that love them, those acts of violation are described in such omniscient a manner that the mother's pleasure is not communicated. Everything that happens with the mom's actions is written with such brief detail that they are emotionally communicative rather than sexually exciting.
Don't feel that this is a criticism that should be felt negatively. I rather like it. This story really communicated the suffering and pain, all of which seemed to be more realistic depictions of what, how, and why. The mother is clearly a little unhinged, as her husband describes her being very withdrawn into what the reader knows to be her fantasy life.
I like that this story shows consequences. I read this wanting to fap, couldn't fap to it and finished reading out of investment. I am going to be haunted for days to come. Good work.
I have an idea for a new story, a young tall muscular stud having sex with two MILFS after their husbands abandon them. One MILF is submissive while the other is dominant.
Could there be an alternative chapter where Rachel pisses on Collin and not her son or any other family member? It would be far better if Rachel lived out her fantasies by peeing in Collin and he drank it all.
Since Rachel is 5'7, Michael is 5'5 and Kate is 5'10 then how tall is Collin, Richard and the rest of the family?
I have received a lot (more then 10, so to me a lot) request to expand or write follow-ups to this. All from a do not reply to this e-mail meassage. So I proclaim, as my english teacher once told me, once a story is out, it no longer belongs to you. So my answer is YES, write the follow-up, just sebd me the link you talented writers
And sorry for the grammarmistakes, i did pay for an on-line editor, that was why I posted again. I guess they are not that good (blame me I didn't think I needed one)
Destiny is a long, long story (you know I post in one shot, always) - I am scared to finish it and post it
It is very different. It has first times, strong bully ellements And strong cruelty elements, but some good element (few) a story-wide good ending but a good "ending" but only after really bad stuff (torture). If people wanted me dead for this "mother" story that emergerded while writing "Destiny".......just wow, I cannot post Destiny. Maybe one can finish it (make it polish it because the story is all there). I Always thought of Bella Thorne as the GF
Oh and Anonymous, thank you so very much for understanding what my story was telling, you are the best and descibed it best :Despite the need of an editor to handle grammar, this story was very engaging. Brief on details I filled a lot in myself so it worked.
Unlike others, I cannot say this is sexually exciting for me. The damage done was too realistic. While I enjoy women being evil and betraying those that love them, those acts of violation are described in such omniscient a manner that the mother's pleasure is not communicated. Everything that happens with the mom's actions is written with such brief detail that they are emotionally communicative rather than sexually exciting.
Don't feel that this is a criticism that should be felt negatively. I rather like it. This story really communicated the suffering and pain, all of which seemed to be more realistic depictions of what, how, and why. The mother is clearly a little unhinged, as her husband describes her being very withdrawn into what the reader knows to be her fantasy life.
I like that this story shows consequences. I read this wanting to fap, couldn't fap to it and finished reading out of investment. I am going to be haunted for days to come. Good work.
100% what I was getting for, I can't write, but I know I can write a story. Just than you
Hey you talented writers, please, please, post the links to each of your respective follow-ups to this story, I and AmaraSexy are sure they're gonna be great! Wish you all luck on your versions of the follow-up
I got a email like that too asking me to write a follow up for your story.
The thing is, would you be okay with that? I know you stated that once your story is published you have no control over it.
But you do.
You can request that people ask your permission in order for them to write a follow up on your story.
I know I ask that of anyone who wants to make a follow up/different take on one of my stories.
Also.... before I forget.
To the who said that Monica and Maria continued to be Seth's sex slaves is false. The last chapter was about them realizing the harm they did to Doug. Seth's gets punished by the school board TWICE and is made a pathetic sub for his female principal at his new school. Monica and Maria take Doug on a trip to see their "home country".
Obviously you didn't read the full series.
, would you want me to write a follow up on your story?
Because I can if you want me to. Just send me a email through my profile on here.
I'm one of your fans of your My Mom's Corruption series but what are you talking about?
I've re-read the full story and where did it say that Seth got punished by the school board twice and got made into a pathetic sub for his female principal at the new school? Or the part where Monica and Maria take Doug on a trip to see their home country?
Have you finished Chapter 7 part 2 yet? Is that what's going to happen next with what you mentioned?
l
If you WERE one of my fans of that series, then you would know that in chapter 7 part 2 of "My Mom's Corruption" Seth becomes a subservient sex slave to his new school's principal and that Monica and Maria take Doug with them on a trip to visit their "home country". They also make amends to Doug.
I've searched through your "My Mom's Corruption" series and couldn't find Chapter 7 part 2.
I don't think the other meant any offense to you since on your My Mom's Corruption playlist, Character 7 Part 2 doesn't show.
- Anything, always, I am a follower of your work anyway, and a learner, if my writings inspires you, please, do ALL of us a favor and go ahead. Full blessing (send me the link please, altough I am following you so)
I don't know how tall Collin is, in my mind he was imposing (he is a bully), so over 5'10 ?
When you writers are done with your continuations of this story, please make sure to have Rachel and Collin pay for what they did.
Wish you all luck. And don't forget to put the links here.
On the topic of continuing stories, can any writer please continue this story?
//rosa-blanca.ru/desixxxphoto/series/se/13016
So I'm guessing Collin is 5'10.5 right?
What about Rachel's husband Richard and the rest of their family?
Hope to see all of you amazing writers' continuations on this story. Just remember to put the links here so we can read them.
Anybody got any ideas what "Destiny" could be about?
Based on what AmaraSexy has said, Density might be even more extreme then this story.
Destiny is just really a working title - 60% written but that's it, It's about teens, one white neglected rich parents one involving a loved black teen. The white teen is basically left alone in a house by the uncairing parents while the black teen has his (bad dad - loving mom parents home, all the time. The MC is the white kid. The Hero is the black kid (in the end). It's a good story, I just don't have the talent to finish it
I don't know what you're talking about when you say that "Destiny" will be worse compared to this story. I mean we've read what Rachel did and I think that'd definitely be more messed up compared to rich bad parents neglecting their child.
If anybody's making a sequel to this story, please remember to leave the link to your story here.
That bitch should be vertically gutted from cunt to chin!
Honestly, for a person to think up and write this shit, they prolly got a few screws loose. There might be a need for someone to keep an eye out to ensure they are not living out their screwed up fantasy in real life.
Hey all you writers, of any of you are making a sequel to this story, please tell us what you have in mind in the comments so we can hear what you've got.
Is anyone planning to write a continuation of this story? It was very good, I do agree more sexual details in the taboo acts. This story gave a great range of emotions, anger, guilt, and excitement of course...thank you!!! .its just a fintional story, calm down fantasy haters lol
Checking every day...need to know what Rachel does and happens to her and Michael!
I agree with you other anonymous, I'm also waiting for when the other writers link their own version of the aftermath
Hopefully some of the authors make Rachel and Collin pay for what they did depending on how one of the authors here decide the sequel to go.
I really hope you talented writers are making a sequel to this story. I bet they'll do a great job at punishing that bitch Rachel and asshole Collin for what they did to Michael
Imagine how much worse it would have been if Collin not only got Rachel to pee on Michael but also got Kate, and Richard's Sister to do the same
Collin getting Michael's Mom, Sister and Aunt to do that would have been even more terrible
Wonder how Amarasexy would write a different version of this story with Collin getting Rachel, Kate, and Richard's Sister peeing on Michael.
Is anyone ever going to write a continuation of this? seriously someone has to,i want micheal to heal up,get a girlfriend who truly loves him unconditionally,and then micheal will disown rachel as a mother,the girlfriend will violently beat rachel to a pulp infront of micheal and micheal himself will join in on the torture and beating,and then they will pee on rachel together :)))))))))) would be the perfect revenge
I have no follow-up in me for this story. I poured my soul into this story (some from my life, most from real life that happens every day to others).
I realized why some were angry and though it was a cliffhanger, but in reality, this the Rachel story, and her life that stopped there, even if she made the right choice at the end, it was too late. That is the ending.
To answer your question Anonymous, the creator has said that you or anyone else could write their own story since they've given permission. I'm not sure if Asperger27 will write his own continuation of this fic or not.
That sounds like a good idea for a continuation, although Michael and his girlfriend should also get revenge on Collin
As Amarasexy said
I have received a lot (more then 10, so to me a lot) request to expand or write follow-ups to this. All from a do not reply to this e-mail meassage. So I proclaim, as my english teacher once told me, once a story is out, it no longer belongs to you. So my answer is YES, write the follow-up, just send me the link you talented writers"
So please, anybody, make your own sequel to this story by dropping the link to your stories here.
If anyone here is actually planning to write a continuation,and want's to give rachel her comeuppance,and not let collin get away,and also genuinely redeem rachel,here's my idea's
1.Micheal will get a new girlfriend and disown rachel as a mother,micheal will choose his girlfriend over rachel in several instances,making rachel get jealous
2.Micheal's new girlfriend will end up beating rachel up for whatever reason,and micheal,instead of micheal defending rachel,micheal will sadistically join in and stop on rachel's hand and even kick her face,once they are both done beating on her micheal and and his girlfriend will have sex infront of rachel for atleast 15 minute's,and micheal will insult his mother ALOT. He will call her a porn addicted freak,a whore,a cumslut,a worthless 2 cent whore,that she should actually kill herself,an outcast to society,etc etc etc. And then micheal and his gf will both pee on rachel.
3.Rachel will come to a deep realization. She will come to the realization the only true way she can make it up to micheal is by hurting and getting revenge on collin infront of micheal WITH micheal. Rachel will feel anger at collin,she will blame collin for everything whilst also holding herself accountable. She will stop defending collin and actually kidnap collin and tie him up so micheal can get his revenge on collin all together for ruining their family
4.Rachel will tell collin she was only using him for sex,for the fantasy,she never loved him,and how much she regret's it,and she will actively hurt collin as well. She will pee on collin and in his mouth and everything infront of micheal,to prove that she actually love's micheal and not collin. And then micheal and rachel will love each other again when they either kill collin OR just traumatize him just as bad as micheal or even worse.
If anyone actually read this comment, you can refer to me as ''redeem'' lol
I know the point of the story is to make you hate rachel and want her to fucking die but holy shit,dude the only possible way for rachel to truly be forgiven is either
1.Rachel kidnap's collin somehow and then her and micheal together do to collin EVERYTHING she and collin did to micheal,except even worse. They could maybe even take shit's on collin's face and mouth.
2. Rachel willingly allow's micheal to flay her alive,pee on her and inside of her,and probably squeeze lemon juice and rub salt in her blood wound's.
Seriously,no amount of ''sorry's'' and ''i LoVe YoU sO MuCh SwEeTiE''s could make up for what she did besides the two i listed. Litterally.
You guys have got to make a continuation to this since Amara gave you permission to write a sequel
Aspeeger27 made his version of the sequel. Hope to see you other writers make your own version of the sequel to this story.
//rosa-blanca.ru/desixxxphoto/s/a-mothers-downfall-sons-revenge
I think first, you are a very talented writer. Next, this story chills me to the bone and that's saying something as I used to work in a prison as a substance abuse counselor and have heard all the heinous stories of some of the worst society has to offer. What this mother and the bully in the story did would make it into the top 5 of worst things a person could do to another. You said you write from experience and things you've seen. I truly hope that you have never seen or experienced something as evil and tragic as what you described in that story.
Guy's,please,remember this is a STORY and it is FAKE. Remember litterally no mother in the world would ever and i mean EVER do this to their son. Please remember,you came onto literotica and found this story. Not a local new's website. It's not real,no matter how painful the thing's this cum-slut excuse of a mother did to her son may seem,it's not real. Please remember this,if the story haunt's you or make's u feel hurt or anything.
Yeah, one of the best stories of its kind. You don’t skip out on the consequences, which I think most do. Great work.
A particular case in Japan comes to my mind.... Not at all similar to the plot that happened here, not even associated with mother son... But similarly horrific and chilling, I guess you all know which case I am talking about. RIP JF.
Only 2-ways I see this story going forward with this crowd (the kinky):
Obviously, the family would cut ties with Rachel. Why don’t they press charges? Because Michael won’t allow it.
Michael still loves her mother; Rachel still wants to have a relationship with her.
So, Rachel HAS to move out, no change, but she is lost. She is now separated, in the process of being divorced. In this scenario she can:
a) Start a romantic relation with Michael
b) Start resenting Michael for destroying her life
Yeah, I'm starting chapter 2 tonight. Doesn’t mean it will become a story, but I have enough to start. When I read Aspeeger27 follow-up, it got me invested again in these characters I invented. At first, when I started reading the last part of Aspeerger27, I thought, OMG! He is going to make Rachel kill Michael, that’s why the diversion outside the hospital!
Anyway, I think he did a great job at providing closure for people who wanted the bad people get what they truly deserve. I’m not going there. Doubling down on the madness and mother’s cruelty (unfortunately still from real world and personal experiences).
I know how to get there (breaking point) just don’t know what Rachel would do once there (at least I’m not that sick and disturb). Plus Literotica rules
I also wish, nothing sexual with my mom (ark!) but bad stuff. Mommy was a stay-at-home mom, and the first time I missed school for being sick (the flu), I was in my bed with fever. Maybe 7 or 8 years old ? At lunch, my professor of the time called my home and said she just watch me walking across the field with my red snowsuit (Québec City) it gets cold. I never owned a red snow suit. Mommy knows that. I was feverish, never moved. Mom was always seeing me. When she got the call, she punched me so hard in the face (I swallowed 2 tooth). Sorry, not all Mom are good moms
Amarasexy,PLEASE don't make rachel a psychopathic cruel and make her attempt to murder or hurt micheal even more. and IF YOU DO,please make micheal get his revenge on her. That's what i hope u do.