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Click hereI still didn't say anything as I stood, silently praying my legs wouldn't give out as I walked to his door. I remember I looked back over my shoulder at him, before heading back to my bedroom. I had no idea why I had done what I had done, but as I curled up in my bed that night, I was smiling as I drifted off to sleep, the image of my brother sitting hard on his bed in my mind.
- COMMENTS
Rated this one as a 4*, Will's perspective as a 5*. Maybe I'd rate it the other way around if I read them in different order. I love the concept of a parallel views in a story, but here the exposition is so small in both versions it's basically a retelling of the same with almost nothing to separate either (injecting Allie's reasoning into Will's story might have been a mistake in that regard). Too bad both stay at 1st chapter half a year later...
Still, the writing is really good, no grammar errors (except a "herself" where there should have been "myself"), style quite polished, so a solid 9/10. Keep up the good work
To the two anonymous commenters saying Matt wins in the end and that Matt gets Allie, they have two kids - did you read the story? Her husband’s name is Mark, that’s who she has the two kids with. Jeeze. Great story, love how it’s from your perspective, Allie, and how we also got Will’s from
His perspective. Ignore the naysayers and keep it up! I can see how this will have a happy ending for all involved. Outward appearances kept up, but still fucking each other on the side? Hot.
A copy of someone else’s story? This is derived from a role play that Will and I started and decided we wanted to write/publish. And never talk to your own sister because she gave another man head?? You sound like you are real fun at parties. Thanks for the feedback <3