The Halloween Skits

Paul soaked in the moment as he took to his makeshift stage to announce the contest. He had been planning this party for months. His annual Halloween parties had become legendary in certain circles in Los Angeles, spoken about in hushed whispers over stiff drinks.

Halloween was Paul's favorite holiday because it gave license for typically reserved people to unleash their unbridled sexuality. It was by far the sluttiest holiday, he thought.

Securing an invitation on his carefully curated guest list was not easy. He eschewed the celebrity class. He disliked actors and preferred to surround himself with people who had other careers in the entertainment industry. After a couple of decades in California he had finally found his crowd. People who were fit and healthy and beautiful but also down to earth and comfortable in their own skin. People he genuinely enjoyed.

Paul had the means to throw a truly extravagant celebration, having achieved real success in his career as a film producer. Every year he pulled out all the stops, trying to outdo himself. This year, his estate had been transformed inside and out with dance floors, elaborate decorations and numerous surprises for his guests. He had hired several performers including an aerialist, a pole dancer, and go-go dancers. They were all costumed, of course, along with the wait staff and bartenders.

He looked out over the gathering crowd and was impressed by the intricate and provocative costumes. He thought back on last year's party. By the end of the sexiest costume contest, there was not a soft cock in the house. This year he planned to up the stakes significantly.

Paul welcomed the crowd and announced the rules of the contest. At the stroke of midnight, contestants would take to the stage, one group at a time, and perform a skit of their own invention. Each participant would play the character dictated by their costume.

"If you're dressed as a sexy vampire, you play a sexy vampire," he explained. "You'll have use of some simple props, a table, some chairs, but mostly your creativity will make the difference. I know this is an artistic crowd and I expect great things."

The sexiest performance, in his sole judgement, would win the grand prize. The prize was an all-expenses paid trip to Cabo to spend a week at Paul's private villa with full use of his house manager and personal chef.

At this announcement, his guests began to chatter excitedly. Paul spoke up over the din. "The only rule is that photography is strictly prohibited, for the sake of our contestants. Anyone caught with their phone out during the performances will have it confiscated by my staff." He looked around at his guests to make sure they knew he was serious.

"Okay, come on up here and put your group on the list any time before midnight. In the meantime, eat up, drink up and enjoy yourself!"

* * *

THE ARREST

"So's this how you thought we'd be spending our third date?" Emily asked.

"Not quite!" Adam laughed. "Figured we'd be watching some Netflix, maybe getting ready to 'Chill'." He raised his eyebrows, making it clear that he was joking. Kind of.

"Just didn't expect to be 'chilling' in front of an audience for the first time, huh?"

"I told you we didn't have to enter the contest," he said.

"It'll be fun! I don't even care about winning."

"Wouldn't it be more fun to watch everyone else make a fool of themselves?"

"You're not chickening out on me."

"A lot of my friends are here, Emily."

"C'mon Adam. I thought you were 'willing to try anything once'," she said tossing a quote from his Tinder profile back at him.

"Babe."

"I won't embarrass you. Don't you trust me?" She brushed a lock of strawberry blonde hair out of her face and looked up at him with soft green eyes. Her smile curved mischievously at the edges. That face gutted him. He knew it would always make him give in.

"I do, I think." He grinned. "Anyway, it's not my hot little ass that everyone is going to be staring at up there."

"Don't be so sure. I gotta show all those lady friends of yours who you belong to now." She winked as she smacked his ass.

"Up first," Paul's voice shouted over the chatter, "we have Emily and Adam! Please come to the stage!"

Emily grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the front of the room.

"Shit." Adam's heart was racing. "So, what's our plan again?"

"I'm going to arrest your ass."

"Okay. I'll follow your lead."

"Don't worry, I've watched a lot of Law and Order."

They were greeted with clapping and catcalls from the crowd as they stepped onto the stage.

"Emily, it's a real pleasure to meet you," Paul said. "You look fetching in your uniform. I see you're an FBI agent?" He pointed to the bold letters on one side of her large chest.

"Federal Body Inspector, actually." Emily turned around and pointed to the text on her back. Her black uniform jumpsuit wore more like a long-sleeved one-piece bathing suit. It was skintight and was cut high, exposing the bottom half of her tan butt cheeks.

"Lucky for us!" Paul said, pausing to admire Emily's petite figure. "And Adam, I see you're still doing CrossFit."

Adam shrugged an acknowledgement. His convict uniform consisted of orange spandex briefs that were barely larger than a speedo. Black suspenders ran up his otherwise bare torso, showing off his muscular chest and rippling six pack abs.

"Thank you guys for going first." Paul turned to the crowd. "They will be performing a skit called 'The Arrest'. Let's give them a warm round of applause and help them break the ice up here."

The crowd got loud. "Take it away guys!" Paul exited the stage and after a moment the crowd quieted down.

Emily wasted no time, startling Adam and the crowd by shouting "Hold it right there, mister!" She pointed at him. "I'm a Federal Body Inspector and I need to inspect you because you may be in violation of Regulation 69 - being too hot in a public place."

A few good-natured laughs let them know the crowd was game and not critical of the cheesy beginning.

"Well, hello officer." Adam replied in a smooth voice, belying his nerves. "I like the way you wear your uniform."

"I have to warn you that anything you say can and will be held against you."

"Your tits!" Adam called out while pointing at her chest and laughing at his own joke. The audience laughed with him and someone let out a whoop. The zipper on the front of Emily's uniform was open to the base of her sternum, flaunting her gravity defying cleavage.

"Cute." She gave a fake smile before reaching out and grabbing his outstretched hand. She twisted it hard in a move she'd learn in Krav Maga. It caught Adam off guard and spun him around.

Adam made an exaggerated face and mouthed "Ow" to the audience as Emily held him in an arm lock from behind. "Spread your legs," she commanded as she kicked his feet past shoulder width apart.

"Yes ma'am," Adam said as he complied.

"I'm going to frisk you. Are you carrying any concealed weapons?"

"No, officer."

"Arms out." He spread his powerful arms and she stood on her tippy toes to run her hands along each one. Her petite form looked even smaller next to his bulk. Then, she ran her fingers through his hair, down his neck and onto his back.

Her frisk turned briefly into a sensual back rub before her hands continued down. She cupped both of his ass cheeks in her hand, smiling for the benefit of the audience and then squeezed hard. Adam jumped.

"Don't move, buddy! Unless I say so." She groped his butt again.

Her hands reached around and caressed his torso as she pressed her body against his back. She paused to tweak both of his nipples, which got another chuckle out of the audience. She continued and traced her fingertips over his tight abs.

Adam was starting to get turned on by all the touching. He was worried that if he got an erection in his tight bottoms it would be very obvious to everyone at the party.

Emily dropped into a squat, her face near his butt. She grabbed his ankle and ran her hands up his leg to his upper thighs, stopping just short of his orange bottoms. Then she repeated the process on the other leg.

Poking her head around the side of his body, Emily looked directly at the audience. She gave her best evil grin and winked. She slithered her hand between his thighs and reached up to cup his now semi-hard penis.

She clamped her hand and gripped his bulge tightly. Adam jumped and when he did, she slapped his butt with her other hand, reminding him to stay still. Then Emily began to feel around the length of his shaft, exploring all of his parts from the outside of his spandex underwear. He was rapidly becoming aroused. His erection grew sideways, following the elastic band of his briefs.

Without letting go, she looked up. "Well, well. What do we have here? You said you didn't have any concealed weapons. You lied. Do you have a license to carry this?"

Adam couldn't believe she was being so bold! He had to play along. "Well not exactly officer, you see-"

"Enough excuses." she cut him off. "This is a clear violation of the Penal Code. I'm going to have to cuff you." She stood and unhooked a pair of handcuffs from the belt on her waist. Adam let her pull his arms behind his back and felt the cold handcuffs close around his wrists. He now felt very vulnerable.

Emily walked to the side of the stage and grabbed a chair, dragging it back to the center. She sat Adam down and came around to kneel between his legs.

Her voice softened. "That's a pretty big gun you're packing there." She firmly grabbed his erection through the tight orange material as she spoke.

Adam was embarrassed that his friends in the crowd were getting such an intimate view of his package. At the same time, he was proud of his body. All of it. And he was turned on by this side of Emily which he had not yet seen.

Emily began to stroke his length back and forth and Adam involuntarily let out a moan. "I can't allow you to leave with this thing cocked. You may end up hurting someone."

"What do you suggest we do about it?" He wasn't sure where she wanted to go with this.

She let go and stood up, coming around beside him. "I can let you keep the gun, but I'll have to confiscate all your ammunition." The crowd, which had grown silent, gasped a collective breath.

His now fully engorged erection was pushing against the confines of his briefs, causing the waistband to gap. She looked down at it and licked her lips.

She grabbed the zipper on the front of her uniform and slowly lowered until it was about four inches below her belly button. As she did, the fabric spread and exposed the middle half of her breasts. She was dangerously close to exposing her areola, maybe even the top of her pubic hair.

"At this point," she said, "your gun is cocked and there is a round in the chamber. I think it's best for all involved if we shoot the gun in a controlled manner."

Adam couldn't believe this was happening. Did she plan for him to ejaculate on stage in front of all these people? The thought made him lightheaded.

"For my safety," she continued, "I'm going to leave you handcuffed until the threat is neutralized. So, I will be in charge of firing the pistol." Adam stared at her intently, unsure of what to say.

"I can see the concern on your face," she said. "Don't worry, I've had extensive training for just this circumstance. First, I'm going to unholster the weapon. Then, I'll begin a thorough hand inspection of the barrel and ammunition chamber to ensure everything is in good working order." She mimed holding a shaft with one hand and cupping balls with the other.

"Then I'll aim the weapon at a soft target." She grabbed her large breasts and pushed them together and the edge of her areola slipped into view. "Finally, I will remove the safety and pull the trigger."

Emily dropped back to her knees, her hand once again encircling his bulging shaft. "As we both know, when it goes off, there will be a strong kick and a residue discharge. I'm prepared to thoroughly clean the weapon before re-holstering it and uncuffing you." She looked right into his eyes and licked her lips.

Adam wanted to end the skit, but he was also turned on. He ached to feel her warm lips around his hard cock. She continued stroking his length up and down over his thin spandex as she looked into his eyes with that impossibly beautiful face.

She looked down at his crotch and saw that drops of precum were forming a wet spot. "I'm glad to see your weapon is properly lubricated. You've taken excellent care of your equipment so this should be a smooth process."

She bit her lip and looked up at him. "Before I begin, do you have any concerns you'd like to raise?"

Adam was glad she was giving him an out. "Well, uh yes," he responded. "Are you going to discharge the weapon in front of all these people?" He tilted his head towards the audience. "It seems unsafe. Maybe can we find a private place to finish the job?"

Emily smiled knowingly. "I think these people would appreciate a public demonstration on how to safely discharge a loaded weapon. You never know, it might prevent an accident down the road." The crowd roared their approval.

"Well, it's just that I've only ever fired my weapon on a private range before."

"Are you being uncooperative?" Emily's tone grew stern. "You know, you are in big trouble mister. Carrying an unlicensed concealed weapon and failure to cooperate with the arresting officer. I might need to perform a full cavity search to see if you have any contraband. Would you like me to do that instead?"

"Uh, no! No. That won't be necessary." Adam said quickly. "I am in your hands, miss, and happy to cooperate." He resigned himself to what was clearly the lesser of two evils.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. I promise I will be gentle and will leave your weapon in perfect condition. Now stand up so we can get started." Adam stood awkwardly, finding it difficult with his hands cuffed behind his back. Emily remained on her knees before him. His erection made an obscene tent in the front of his small shorts.

"How hard do you have to squeeze the trigger to shoot this pistol?" she asked. "Is it sensitive? I don't want it going off in my hands before I'm ready to handle the discharge."

"You have to squeeze pretty hard before it pops. I can give you a heads up when it's close if you like."

"Yes, please," Emily said, and she hooked the fingers of both hands in the top of his waistband. She looked up at him and scrunched her nose. "The demonstration will begin now." Adam and the audience held their breath, but Emily froze in place.

Abruptly, she stood, winked at Adam and slapped him on the butt. She turned towards the audience. "The end," she said with a smirk and gave a bow. The audience erupted in a mix of cheers and boos. Adam stood there with his mouth open, dumbfounded.

Emily laughed as the crowd would not quiet down. A chant of "Shoot the gun! Shoot the gun!" broke out. Paul stepped up from the side of the stage and raised his hand to silence the audience, which worked after a few moments.

"Thank you so much to the first participants! It was a very entertaining and sexy first act. Perhaps we'll see more of your act at a later time?" Paul glanced towards the couple. "For now, we'll let them off the hook. Let's give them a warm round of applause. Emily and Adam!"

The crowd cheered unanimously this time while they both bowed. Adam's bulging briefs showed no sign of letting up as he stood in front of the cheering audience.

"And now," Paul interrupted the clapping, "it is time for our second performance of the night. Please welcome Jim, Kendra and Vicky to the stage."

* * *

DETENTION

"Kendra, we have enough sex phrases. It's time to go!" hissed Vicky as she pulled her friend towards the stage. Kendra stashed her phone in her purse. She grabbed her boyfriend's wrist and the three marched towards the front of the room.

Vicky was a petite, busty Asian. A significant contrast to Kendra's fair complexion, taller frame and smaller breasts. Both girls were knockouts.

They were dressed in matching cheerleader uniforms. Their blue and gold tops weren't much bigger than sports bras, showing off their tight midriffs. The matching skirts were scandalously short. And their pom-pom accessories finished the outfit.

Jim followed in tacky, retro short-shorts, knee-high three stripe socks, a wife beater and a sweatband on every limb. He was tall with dark curly hair and wore a perennial smile, usually because he'd just made everyone around him laugh.

After they were introduced and arranged some furniture, Jim began. "Okay ladies you both know why you've been sent here for detention," he said in a gruff voice. "Since I'm your gym teacher, it means I'm qualified to tech Sex Ed. And since we're supposed to do something academic during this detention, we're going to work on some extra credit."

Jim stood up and put one foot on the desk. He did an exaggerated stretch of his leg, giving the audience an eyeful of his hairy thigh. "We're going to start with vocabulary. Has anyone ever heard of the Rusty Trombone?"

Both girls looked at each other blankly.

"No? Okay. It describes a sex act where you give your partner a hand job while also performing anilingus on him." Jim's interpretation of the move in the air drew guffaws from the crowd.

Kendra raised her hand. "Um, like, what's anilingus?" She tried to act extra ditzy as she admired her boyfriend's ability to keep a straight face.

Jim rolled his eyes. "A rim job." He paused for a response but got none. "Tossing the salad?" Both girls stared back, expressionless. "Ass eating season?"

Lightbulbs went off and the girls nodded their heads. "Oh yeah. I love that."

Jim then launched into a lecture covering the finer points of a number of sex acts including the Cincinnati Bowtie, the Hot Carl, the Donkey Punch and the Dirty Sanchez. The audience was roaring with laughter by the end of it.

"And that is why it's called the Missouri Compromise when you're a virgin, but you let him in the back door."

The girls nodded enthusiastically. Throughout the lecture, both girls had been hamming it up. As they fidgeted in their seats, they had been accentuating their cleavage and flashing their panties to the audience.

Although Jim was able to keep his cool, Kendra could tell that her boyfriend was enjoying the show that Vicky was putting on, too. Instead of making her jealous, for some reason that turned her on.

Vicky raised her hand. "Um, do we need to take notes?"

"No," Jim dismissed. "Let's talk about female masturbation. Do you masturbate, Vicky?"

"Yes of course." Vicky replied as she bit her lip.

"What are some terms for that?"

The girls began a rapid fire response, shouting out as many of the phrases as they could remember from their skit planning cram session. "Polish the pearl! Diddle the Skittle! Double-click the mouse. Trip the switch! The three-knuckle-shuffle. Buff the muffin! Go finger painting. Part the red sea. Circle the wagon!"

"Very good, girls," Jim said once they were done. "This is obviously a subject that you both know a lot about. I see you've been doing your homework. Okay, moving on from vocabulary. For our next topic, I'm going to need one of you to come up here for a demonstration."

When they planned their skit, they had decided that both girls would enthusiastically volunteer, and Jim would pick his girlfriend Kendra. But when Vicky started waving her hand in the air, Kendra sat back with a smirk on her face. This should be fun, she thought, as she felt the growing wetness between her legs.

Jim gave Kendra a quizzical look before picking Vicky and instructing her to sit on the makeshift desk. Vicky was happy to roll with the change. She spread her legs as she sat on the desk and her short skirt bunched around her waist, exposing her panties for all to see. She made no effort to cover them up.