All Comments on 'Wife Ch. 01: Tijuana'

12 sentences in a row all starting with "She" is a perfect example of how NOT to write. Are you trying to bore your readers to death?

The rest is just tedious crap.

No one expects Chaucer. Next time go for 15 shes or more to set off the asspies.

The nine, (NINE!!!!), introductory paragraphs read like you paid some 14yo high school troll to write them. And, as previously noted: she, she, she, she...

If the rest of this was on par with the post-intro, it would probably be a decent read. As it stands, the reader is so pissed off by the time they get past the intro, that little pleasure can be derived from the remainder.

I am the author.

Just reopened this story to see what you are saying. Holy Moly! I shot her in the foot with her, and she, etc. I will submit an edited version today. Thank you-all for your all of your comments. I will do better, how could I not?

I don't usually enjoy "Tiajuana" stories because they are usually so crass and commercial. However, I enjoyed this story very much. I can't wait for the rest of the series, which I shall read now. If they are as good as this one, I shall be changing my panties in a little while.