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End of Part I
- COMMENTS
The vocabulary has been mentioned several times. Fancy words do not equate to good story telling. If they are a stumbling block for the reader and break the narrative flow then they do not aid the story. That's beside the fact that some of them weren't even used correctly.
Why is it that when you stumble upon a writer with this skill set, they stop publishing?
I got hooked... and I just stumbled on this...you are one hell of a write...
So far well written and your phraseology is interesting but don't try to tell me you haven't made ample use of your thesaurus. Geez, you kinda go overboard with your use of two dollar words.
Your vocabulary is well beyond that of the average Literotica writer.