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You Picked a Fine Time, Lucille

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Karma smiled and clapped her hands. 'Nailed it', she thought.

Now, lighten up. I have two jokes.

The first is courtesy of my 8-year-old granddaughter.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato. Heh, heh, heh. Oh, come on.

Okay, my joke. How can you tell the difference between a fort and a fortress??

Simple. A fortress has breastworks. Old guy humor. If you don't get it, have a MATURE gentleman explain it to you.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy Halloween.

The BEAR

P.S. One more thing. Not to self-promote, but I posted a piece in "Reviews and Essays", entitled "Karma". It got very good reviews, not like in "Loving Wives", but only 5 people read it. Not much traffic. I recommend it to my readers out there. (Not necessarily my fans, but you know who you are). I would appreciate any additional comments. Merci. The BEAR

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88 Comments
LizziepeeLizziepeeabout 1 month ago

Very good story, coming from a rural background in Australia.

I get your joke about the kangaroo Lizzie

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Great story! Even though the guy is rather dense, he has a good heart and ya just gotta love him!

Pappy7Pappy78 months ago

Nicely done and refreshingly over the top.

pappy

FluidswallowerFluidswallower10 months ago

Thanks for a pleasant and uplifting tale!

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

It turns out that only one ticket was sold for Saturday's drawing.

You appear to be missing a word in this sentence, a rather important word.

It turns out that only one WINNING ticket was sold for Saturday's drawing.

26thNC26thNC11 months ago

Great story Bear. You’re definitely at the top of your game. Now turn another great Kenny Rogers song, Ruby, into a story.

AnonymousAnonymous11 months ago

WONDERFUL, 10 stars!! Everybody got theirs. Matt not only got money, he made sure the people he loved were taken care of, the kids got a real mommy that loved them, Matt got a real wife, and that wife loved her kids. Lucille got hers, too, the old slut still having to sell herself!

oldtwitoldtwit11 months ago

Another good one, full of fun

MarkT63MarkT6312 months ago

Great karma story. I am a fan...

mfbridgesmfbridges12 months ago

lol Author needs to go back to school for some additional math lessons. lol Somehow MC ended up with more money after paying off farm debt.

Crusader235Crusader23512 months ago

Fun little story to a great ole song. RIP Kenny. Five stars!

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Fun.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Fun story...thanks!

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

I enjoyed the story. Thanks. It is your world so all the rules are yours. In this world - the farmland seems a little over-valued (other than if it is in New Jersey or California and apparently some parts of North Dakota) and even then, with a 27 million dollar debt, there is no estate to split up.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Excellent story Backer, but you’re clearly no

high (or even low) finance guy; so, a couple bits: (1) investment bankers don’t invest individual’s money for them — that’s what brokers and financial advisors do. Investment bankers raise capital (money) for organizations, mostly corporations, in the public equity and bond markets; (2) no finance person worth their salt would recommend paying 37 percent in taxes — 13% more than is currently due)— a year in advance, that is before the gov claims the higher marginal rate. That’s leaving $1m on the table for the gov’t to just scoop up; keep it and get your own gain, which here would be about $1m (7% annual return).

WargamerWargamer12 months ago

Yeah, not bad. That stupid kept going thru my head tho.

That really annoyed me.

Look forward to your next yarn.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

What a great story (jaybee186)

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Nice one bear

enderlocke77enderlocke7712 months ago

U writing a country song or a story lol

XluckyleeXluckylee12 months ago

This is a fun story, thank you. 5 stars from Xluckylee

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

El Oso Viejo se puede!!! Cinco estrellas!

JensensloverJensenslover12 months ago

Not your best, quite boring, and why do writers on this site have eneryone fainting?

LT56linebackerLT56linebacker12 months agoAuthor

Well, Cumminginsider you don't live in Texas, do you? The State Highway Authority decides they want your land excise right of eminent domain, and take what they want. You lose. And he wanted the custody, so it was a good deal. As to the land on either side being worth a fortune, only if you have access to the highway. The State has a nasty way of condemning the land to make it worthless, so they can have what they want. Thank you, Gov. Abbott. Sorry, friend.

The BEAR

rnebularrnebular12 months ago

A nice little walk in fantasy land, thanks. The only criticism I have is the shift from first to third person perspective several times. The story should probably have all been third person. That said, an okay little story.

CumminginsiderherCumminginsiderher12 months ago
1 Star

Not even entertaining.

A complete waste of time as it is so unrealistic.

If you are massively in debt, you DON'T pay out in a divorce, you divide the debt.

If you own a 2,000-acre farm and the state runs a highway thru it, you get compensated by the state and literally EVERY acre of land near that highway is worth a lot more money than it being just farmland.

Hint: The state would not be needing and taking that whole 2,000-acre farm, either.

I couldn't make it past page one.

BlastusBlastus12 months ago

Thank you for the happy ending.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Sometimes we all need a happy ending. This qualifies. Thank you

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