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Click hereKarma smiled and clapped her hands. 'Nailed it', she thought.
Now, lighten up. I have two jokes.
The first is courtesy of my 8-year-old granddaughter.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato. Heh, heh, heh. Oh, come on.
Okay, my joke. How can you tell the difference between a fort and a fortress??
Simple. A fortress has breastworks. Old guy humor. If you don't get it, have a MATURE gentleman explain it to you.
As always, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy Halloween.
The BEAR
P.S. One more thing. Not to self-promote, but I posted a piece in "Reviews and Essays", entitled "Karma". It got very good reviews, not like in "Loving Wives", but only 5 people read it. Not much traffic. I recommend it to my readers out there. (Not necessarily my fans, but you know who you are). I would appreciate any additional comments. Merci. The BEAR
- COMMENTS
While 2000 acres is a sizable parcel, who has a 27,000,000.00 dollar mortgage?
Very good story, coming from a rural background in Australia.
I get your joke about the kangaroo Lizzie
Great story! Even though the guy is rather dense, he has a good heart and ya just gotta love him!
It turns out that only one ticket was sold for Saturday's drawing.
You appear to be missing a word in this sentence, a rather important word.
It turns out that only one WINNING ticket was sold for Saturday's drawing.
Great story Bear. You’re definitely at the top of your game. Now turn another great Kenny Rogers song, Ruby, into a story.
WONDERFUL, 10 stars!! Everybody got theirs. Matt not only got money, he made sure the people he loved were taken care of, the kids got a real mommy that loved them, Matt got a real wife, and that wife loved her kids. Lucille got hers, too, the old slut still having to sell herself!
lol Author needs to go back to school for some additional math lessons. lol Somehow MC ended up with more money after paying off farm debt.
I enjoyed the story. Thanks. It is your world so all the rules are yours. In this world - the farmland seems a little over-valued (other than if it is in New Jersey or California and apparently some parts of North Dakota) and even then, with a 27 million dollar debt, there is no estate to split up.
Excellent story Backer, but you’re clearly no
high (or even low) finance guy; so, a couple bits: (1) investment bankers don’t invest individual’s money for them — that’s what brokers and financial advisors do. Investment bankers raise capital (money) for organizations, mostly corporations, in the public equity and bond markets; (2) no finance person worth their salt would recommend paying 37 percent in taxes — 13% more than is currently due)— a year in advance, that is before the gov claims the higher marginal rate. That’s leaving $1m on the table for the gov’t to just scoop up; keep it and get your own gain, which here would be about $1m (7% annual return).
Yeah, not bad. That stupid kept going thru my head tho.
That really annoyed me.
Look forward to your next yarn.
Not your best, quite boring, and why do writers on this site have eneryone fainting?
Well, Cumminginsider you don't live in Texas, do you? The State Highway Authority decides they want your land excise right of eminent domain, and take what they want. You lose. And he wanted the custody, so it was a good deal. As to the land on either side being worth a fortune, only if you have access to the highway. The State has a nasty way of condemning the land to make it worthless, so they can have what they want. Thank you, Gov. Abbott. Sorry, friend.
The BEAR
A nice little walk in fantasy land, thanks. The only criticism I have is the shift from first to third person perspective several times. The story should probably have all been third person. That said, an okay little story.
Not even entertaining.
A complete waste of time as it is so unrealistic.
If you are massively in debt, you DON'T pay out in a divorce, you divide the debt.
If you own a 2,000-acre farm and the state runs a highway thru it, you get compensated by the state and literally EVERY acre of land near that highway is worth a lot more money than it being just farmland.
Hint: The state would not be needing and taking that whole 2,000-acre farm, either.
I couldn't make it past page one.
Dumb, and boring. Stick to what you know. Or practice more, this was just lame.
A GREAT tale! Such a outstanding publication! A pearl published in a sea of trash and garbage. Perhaps you should mentor some of the loser writers! Thanks you for this piece.
Still reading, but wait. A $27 million dollar mortgage on a farm owned by a dirt poor farmer? That would be tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars monthly payments. Something wrong here...
JPB
Very enjoyable story. Loved this line “ and then his dog died. (I figured the poor guy didn't have enough grief in his life.)” that was great. Thanks for writing!
"she cut him off entirely. Two and a half years." - She can't fuck him for fear of getting pregnant, but she can fuck other guys? She's obviously using birth control, so why not with her husband?
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"My legal team paid off the loans on the farm-$27,675,000" - He had loans over $27 million?!
\
$97,046,504.76 minus $27,675,000 minus $231,000 equals $69, 140,504.76 so how does he have $70,926,800?
Would a South African understand the fortress joke? I hear that Texas jokes are much bigger there than here...
Chiefs loosing to Denver, very funny. You took a 50-50 shot on that and lost.
Cut to the little old homeless woman who wonders around town pushing her shopping cart full of her life’s possessions. The only words she ever mumbles are “what did I do with that lottery ticket?”
Lighten up, it made me smile!!!!!!
Feel good predictable story, but it made me feel good. Missed the PA Cash 5 400k lottery by one number…The last one drawn. So feeling good reading this was a good thing. Got 200.00. Yikes
A little predictable but still interesting and creatively put together.
And to add to the humorous ending; the real words come to us from the local aquarium ..."You picked a fine time to leave me you seal"
Even though from the start is was predictable I still enjoyed the story. I also liked the touch of the new dog. When Karma steps in its no holds bar. Thanks for some laughs. 5 big stars.
The change in perspective was off putting and without any warning. It was also unnecessary.
You did everything you could to heap as much shit on this guy as you could. You turned him into a modern day Job short of killing his entire family and burning down his farm.
All in all, it was ok but less loving wife and more non erotic.
5 for the world's most predictable story and to counter the 1 bombers who will show up and flame... everything.
I thought it was an above average story. So I gave it a 3.5, and just rounded up. :)
Enjoyable story especially considering the recent power all win. As in this story, I hope the person that won can use the money for the betterment of their family, friends, and the world in general
Two stars due to the point-of-view switching mid-way through the story. First person or 3rd person, not both. That's almost as annoying as authors who can't keep names right.
Typos notwithstanding, over $27 million for loans against a previously and currently struggling farm is a stretch even for a fun, over the top story like this.
You are never really down on your luck when you have good people around. Except for Lucille.
Enjoyed the story where all turned out so well.
.
I read the Karma essay. Can't believe I was one of so few. Perhaps Literotica statistics keeping is problematic?
Funny and entertaining, but please pick either first person or third person and stick to it, the constant switching back and forth really bugs me!!!!
Sorry, I missed one. It was supposed to be a $2,767,500 mortgage on the farm. No matter how many times I go over the dam stories, something always slips through. Sorry again. And fortresses have breastworks, barriers, and obstructions in front of the walls, to slow down the advance by enemy forces. Sound familiar??
Thanks for reading.
The BEAR
Good job. I really enjoyed it. I would also like to throw in that I also recommend reading “Karma”
This song is like... 40 + years old! How do I know this w/o looking it up... happens to be the same age as my son, relevance? The gent at the desk sang A decent rendition of “ you picked a fine time to get pregnant Beck“ . When I was told that the
Rabbit had died!
DD
Where oh where are you tonight
Why did you leave me here all alone
I searched the world over and thought I found true love
But you met another
And PFFT you were gone
An excellent five-star story once again from the Bear. I find myself a little embarrassed, though. I am 76 years old and don't get the joke.
Liked it - very funny but who would loan a dirt poor farmer $27 million? 4 stars
A happy ending for a classic sad country song. I’m still grinning. Thanks.
This was a nice story with a happy and funny ending. What could be better? 5 of those little celestial nightlights.
Very entertaining quick read. The story moved along briskly and you tied things up in a satisfying manner. Thanks for sharing your writing gift.
China lifted 700 million people out of poverty in the last three decades. Might be good if they stuck there nose in our business more.
4* cause there needed to be more justice for the ex.