- Incest/Taboo
- 23 & WTF
- Comments
All Comments on '23 & WTF'
by Jacktacular
- 33 Comments
Wow what a story and for your very first a magnificent effort indeed. thoroughly enjoyed it all the way. I do hope there is more to come soon.
Kinda hard to believe you’re a first timer. Great story line. Great dialogue. And very well crafted. You’d better give your editor a hug, or something. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Comments aren't usually my thing, but I gotta say you hit the bull's eye. What a great story. I don't know how a new author touches on so many emotions so easily, but DON'T stop writing! You have a gift, and it deserves to be shared. I am so looking forward to your next posting.
What an amazing story this may be you first story on this sight but you are a well versed righter . Thank you for sharing and please continue.
First time story maybe but not first time writing, WOW! I spend half the story thing this story belongs over in the LW section, but when you said he was getting the DNA test (and knowing the genre and your lead in), I knew what he was going to find. I was also dreading that head Kat weren't going to make it and she would cheat on him with her brother, whoever that turned out to be. I'm a fairly savvy readers thank you for all the twists and turns in this great tale. It wouldn't be as much fun for us readers, but if I were him I'd never tell a soul. 5* and thanks for a truly great read!
I look for the continuation and more great stories from you!
I had the same reaction as Frankie: WOW! Well written, great character development, and an excellent ending. I look forward to following chapters.
There had better be an ending to this story. It feels like I read the whole book only to find the last page tore out of the book!
Sorry to those that thought this was a 'one off'. Yes there will be following parts, but for those who think I’ve written before ..... SURPRISE! I haven’t, this really is the first thing I’ve written since high over 30 years ago. I really am only a super fan of those who are IMHO great writers like Xarth, Beachbum & BlackRandel to name a few. In reading good and bad stories I saw what worked and what didn’t. The trick for me is write how people actually talk (conjunctions/slang) and find a good editor to help you clean it up.
The only other thing I can say is thank you for you’re kind words. Even the anon who just wrote fuck you lol. Hey it was funny. 😆
This one is to good to be your first
Eagerly waiting for the next part
Hoping u don't take long time in posting
Awesome read!!! Did not see that turn coming, but it was perfect. Really invested at this point, looking for the follow-on.
Excellent story, well paced. Glad to see them get together in the end(?), looking forward to see how they overcome this next obstacle.
We can't believe this is a first story. Some English teacher taught you the basics very well. Congratulations on a very successful beginning. My only comment is on something spell check traps us into: homonyms. We caught a couple of them like "site" instead of "sight." Overall your work is excellent and you have a style naturally inspiring and very entertaining. This is very good work. More please.
Jews are the Jewish people and practice Judaism and Judaism is the Jewish faith
Just saying
While using the cabin at Brown County, did they stop by Bear Wallow Distillery in Gnaw Bone?
No distillery, but they did find time to to a little antiquing in Nashville lol
Excellent story, and very well done First story. Five Stars! Can't wait for another chapter.
Please continue this. I'm sure along with me that the rest want to see what Cat's reaction will be and how this will play out moving forward.
Re: Jews practicing Judaism as Jewish people do
Being an small town Oregon raised boy, I had never been around observant Jews until I married one. While my wife is not nearly as observant as she was growing up, her NJ familly is, to her younger brother, nieces and nephews going to Jeshiva through high school. Her brother even did a tour with the Israeli Army.
So, when my mother in law was killed suddenly shortly after we got together, making my second trio to NJ sitting Shiva, and the funeral, you could say I was thrown into the deep end of Jewish life and faith.
When I next was sitting with my extended family for an Oregon Thanksgiving, I was telling them about my submersion in Jewish life. Mind you, my family is not comprised og world travelers.
I am the youngest of four siblings by 15 years, so they were more pain in the ass aunt and uncle types than anything, while I also had 6 true aunts & uncles on my Mom's side, so I knew how real aunts and uncles treated a nephew. I was the first in the family to graduate high school, then college and grad school.
So, as I was talking about how life is in an observant conservation Jewish family is, my complete confusion, and befuddlement with 'Keeping a Kosher Kitchen', the experience of Shiva in a NJ Jewish town/neighbor, (everybody lives within walking distance of the Temple, and some of the other cultural and religious experiences, I noticed most everyone had grown rather quiet, and had even stopped, or slowed down eating.
Except my Jewish bride... I thought back over what I'd just said, to see if I'd dropped an eff bomb, and missed it, when I realized I had expressed how seriously my inlaws took their religion, (polar opposite to my family; Mom had a late life religious discovery, at 60-something. The rest, nada mucho.)
I think the descriptive phrase I used was 'seriously hard corps Jews, they're really into their beliefs, and live them.' I must not have been at my usual peak performance that day, or I would have paused for a beat, or two, and added, 'religiously.'
It was then I realized they were reacting to the word 'Jew'. I'd said it 3-4 times maybe. It dawned on me, they were reacting like I had dropped an eff bomb in front of Mom's Episcopalian priest, or the N-word in front of effing MLK.
'What...?, I posed, 'There's nothing wrong with calling Jews, Jews. They are, and refer to themselves as Jews, even when they're telling self-deprecating, Jewish stereotype jokes. Not something I'll ever be comfortable doing, but I took my social clues from her.', referring to my wife, who was throughly enjoying some of the baked ham, which was part of the meal.
I realized, given their age, and social naviete, the majority of my family had only heard the Jew, as a pejorative. The realization gave me a much more accurate perspective of our society.
So, Jack, I think the inaccurate Jewish vernacular expert in the comments, is likely a distant relative, since that seems to be the theme, in these parts.
An excellant first foray into writing. Your instincts were accurate vis a vis writing dialogue, and on the importance of an editor. Both are 'secrets' of the publishing world, which turns out award winning 'auteurs', some of who are actually good authors.
Something drilled into me during grade school & junior high in the 50-60's was writing IS a form of communication; if you can't communicate well in your writing, you can't tell your story(ies).
Thanks for sharing, and for the work.
GeoD
Just when you start to thinks its s a drag,damn it's picks up better.for some reason got hard to see the pollen around here must a been bad my eyes started to water up (I'm not allergic to pollen) Good Job
You commented on my story, and I finally had some time to check out yours.
I'll start by saying you have an incredible gift with characterization. I could see and understand their motives, and they were believable. I'm guessing you may have pulled on some life experiences here? They say to write what you know. Maybe I'm wrong. But your characters stayed true and separate.
You started with a warning that it was a slow burn, and it certainly was. Not just the buildups, but the emotional rollercoaster that your characters went on. You did a great job. I will be reading the next couple chapters whenever I find the time. Thanks for taking the time to write this story.
I can't believe you aren't a professional author and this is your first story. It's way to good for a first story. I wish I could give you something better than 5 stars. Most stories here don't get me emotionally involved but yours did.
this story was good, but not great, right up until the ending. Now i have to read part two immediately after posting this.
Where do I start? For this genre this was one of the most beautiful and emotional pieces of prose I have ever read on this site. Needless to say this story kept me up well past my usual bedtime. You have such a superlative writing style that it way exceeds this limited star rating system. Full marks and Bravo Zulu (Navy speak for a job well done). More please.