All Comments on 'Any Chance We Could Ch. 45'
by Reindeer58
- 13 Comments
It's over and now I have to wait again for the next chapter. Write faster.
This chapter was worth the wait. I really like where this is going now, and how you're starting to pull the disparate parts into a more cohesive story. I now more clearly understand the interlude with Jack, Elise, etal from the prior chapter. My only regret is that now I must wait for part 46. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Another chapter that is an enjoyable read. As with Tombaugh I now see the Jack/Elise connection. I suspect that the connection will be interesting and fit well with the plot. Forgive me for my impatience and wondering what Jack was all about.
I like the direction taken with Hazel...mixed feelings as she works through her thoughts of wanting to but yurt concerned about harming her marriage. Am I misreading things that Hazel has an emotional connection with Scott? Wish the was more on the Gwen and Hazel date and scene, but I guess you cannot cover everything.
I personally would like to see you get back to the main characters you started with at the beginning of the story.With all the different people in this story now it has became hard to follow.I know you are telling a story and a good story has different characters in it and you have to tell about them also. In the beginning chapters, the story was more than believable . Now to me the story has became Unbelievable. With all the different people in this story the chapters are more on them and less on the ones you made this story from. To me there must be some sort of jealousy of some kind. No one is perfect ,but nothing seems to bother any of them. I don't think you should have them get married. Scott is already getting any of the women he wants and now that Veronica has had a taste of that young man she is only going to want more and more .So where will that leave there marriage ? They hardly spend time together now so whats the point ? Its just a piece of paper.
Continuity is all. Until you get continuity, you have failed. You are now desparately trying to make sense of disjointed parts by filling in scenes that should have happened in prior chapters. You still haven't taken care of the fact that you started this story in the first person, and are now writing in both the second and third person. The only way to get the first, second or third person correct, is to rewrite from the beginning. And, the only way to get continuity, is also to rewrite from the beginning.
As mutch as I like to read abaout all the other caractors I feel it is time to see the main caractors to get to gather, the wedding the honeymoon and the deflowering of the childrewn. Make this your priority and dont wait to long befor you write again
First off don't let anyone tell you to write faster. Write at your own pace and tell them to keep quiet since they are getting this story for free. This chapter was better than the previous one and much easier to follow. I like that you tied the interlude from the last chapter into the main story showing us how it connects because I have still not had time to read the other series those characters are from. I also disagree that there are too many characters in the story or that it is disjointed.
Yes there are a lot of characters, but there are not too many and it is not difficult to keep track of them all. I do agree with one poster that jealousy should show up from time to time among the characters because they are still human and even the most intelligent human beings will get emotional once in a while. The only real way to deal with an emotion like jealousy is to feel it first and let your reason overcome it so you recognize the causes, how it feels and why you felt it to begin with. I look forward to the next chapter.
I hope that Hazel turns into a very hot wife and fulfills all of Emerson's fantasies. She should have a real tight pussy since it has been 20 years since she had her daughter, and not much sex since.
I'm still waiting for the wedding and for him to take their daughters.
Thanks for the read
From 20th Dec 2008 till 17th March 2011 there had been superb 817 days to get all your 45 chapters with an average rate of 18.568 days in between them.
We are ready to wait another 1021 days to read your 100th chapter of 1/1/2008 on 1/1/2014.
what a nice coincedence , at this rate, we can read your 100th chapter of 1st jan 2011 on 1st jan 2014.
please do maintain that 18.568 day gap
Thank you
Arvee
I was away on the 17th and missed the listing.
Glad to see you tied in the last chapter's interlude. Love having the Jacobsons back in the story. Like where Hazel is going, at last!! Cindy's show of appreciation was anticipated. Thought Cheryl would also. Not sure about the Jeanine thread, think S&V should invite her and husband for dinner, conversation and whatever. Maybe Jeanine should talk to Evie, professionally.
While I understand some of the previous comments, if you stuck to Scott's perspective I would go nuts with the anticipation of learning what would happen with the various characters.
Alot of characters, yes. I have a WP document with the cast of charaters and their relationship. Just had to add Jeanine and the Wintrops. I also keep a calendar and fill in the major activities of the day as they happen, besides the future dates.
Write at your pace. Just please keep writing.
Your story is well written. Like Scott, I am rock hard while reading the next installment.
Please don't stop.
Just loving and sex along with an interesting story that evolves each chapter.