All Comments on 'Be Careful What You Wish For Ch. 01'
by IJS0904
- 7 Comments
Please ignore the troll. I found it to be an interesting plot. What he probably wants is no plot and just a bunch of people saying fuck and suck.
Very interested in what happens with Brandon, and particularly those he stole the ecstacy from. That's the problem with douches like Brandon. They think they're a real hardcore badass, when really they're just a douche, and frequently that revelation comes at the hands of real thugs, like who he stole from. Keep up the hot sex, I'd even like Brandon's parents involved, but do run with this whole Brandon plotline. 5/5 stars.
Dewey Cheatham
Seriously, whats going on with your plots? That was almost as bad as your recent non-con story. His wife is somewhat prudish and fucking around on him makes her not prude? What the fuck is wrong with the world?
Please ignore the idiot who used the word "troll". Just because an idiot finds a plot interesting doesn't make it true. This is a very clear example of the truth of my statement.
I don't think you put much thought into what you're writing (typing is a better description of what you do since there's very little, if any, actual writing going on). There are no rational motivations for any actions or reactions to what went on here in the first page or so, so I saw no point in continuing with this waste of time.
You should listen to the people who tell you that your writing is bad. They're right, and far outnumber those who say differently.
I found the premise of the story entertaining and the drug induced loss of inhibitions to be quite amusing. Didn't quite find the wife completely losing her inhibitions after sobering up to be believable but liked the part where they were talking past one another not understanding the intent of the other. However, if she truly wanted to be reeled in she wouldn't have become the complete fuck slut she was with three guys railing her now completely sober. Ridiculous. Your best paragraph was describing the rat race of baggage claims at the airport and your commentary at everyone backing up a step to be the solution - a great observation along with the selfish sheep being a perfect explanation of the current political idiocy and climate. Very intelligent and insightful. However, you completely lost me when he started doing his sister. GROSS!!! It went from quirky intelligent - to trailer trash Deliverance banjo playing in one paragraph. Woulda been 4 stars, but that dropped it to 2. Yuck.
I found the premise of the story entertaining and the drug induced loss of inhibitions to be quite amusing. Didn't quite find the wife completely losing her inhibitions after sobering up to be believable but liked the part where they were talking past one another not understanding the intent of the other. However, if she truly wanted to be reeled in she wouldn't have become the complete fuck slut she was with three guys railing her now completely sober. Ridiculous. Your best paragraph was describing the rat race of baggage claims at the airport and your commentary at everyone backing up a step to be the solution - a great observation along with the selfish sheep being a perfect explanation of the current political idiocy and climate. Very intelligent and insightful. However, you completely lost me when he started doing his sister. GROSS!!! It went from quirky intelligent - to trailer trash Deliverance banjo playing in one paragraph. Woulda been 4 stars, but that dropped it to 2. Yuck.