- Loving Wives
- Early Release
- Comments
All Comments on 'Early Release'
by MyrrdinCCR
- 126 Comments
Good story but as always the excuses these wives come up with to cheat on thier husbands is truly amazing. I know these stories are about extra marital sex generally by the wives, but it would be interesting to see a different reason for sex outside of a marriage. Anyway thanks for writing.
Excelint story for the first time. You don't say it was first time ever or for submitting here at Literatica, but that's the impression I got. Very clean story with only a few grammatical errors. One thing I would like to remind you, and all new writers is don't fall into the mistake of thinking all the advances in technology we have and use every day now have not been around forever. In the Epilogue you were referencing that this story began twenty-five years ago in saying it was your twenty-fifth anniversary. The story of turning off cell phones, texting, kids with cell phone cameras, etc. twenty-five years ago, that technology was not very common. I know it seems like it has been around forever, but it hasn't. Take that little jewel for what it's worth. Loved it anyway so I gave it 5-stars.
I liked it! Good story well written. I especially liked "Too bad you didn't love me today..." Then whenever I hear someone say something like, "She also started telling her that almost twice as many men cheated as women..." I wonder, "Who do you think they are cheating with?" Foolish, immature wife didn't deserve a good husband. There was good character development here.
The only loose thread for me is the bitch at the bank that groomed his wife, obviously at the direction of the dead asshole.
Agree with Aardie... otherwise, great drama. had betrayal, tragedy, revenge, romance and hea.
WOW!! 10 Big Blazing Stars for a Great Great Heartbreaking and Heartwarming tale all combined in one story. Perfect for the HallMark Channel. Very well written, Good Grammar, good spelling, good punctuation, Good Character development and over all good story. Much better than I am capable of. Thanks for his great effort, keep writing my Friend. Good Job. Buster2U
Nice story. The 'kiss-cam' bit I've read before on this site. Just saying.
The Benson fellow was too stupid to ever have been in any position of authority. Going to the police and mouthing off, when he should have known well that his conspiracy with his brother put him right in line for legal action!
All's well that ends well.
Great story ,very well written .
Please never go in your future stories to other side .
5 stars
If that was your first attempt, please don’t try again. Every cliche known to man and probably a few new ones.
This is a very good FIRST story, keep it up and you will be as good as qhlm1 or Todd172 or dtIverson, to name a few of the best in LW.
\
If there is a miss it would be in what happen to Janet the real vixen and G. Bullock for using his official govt super position illegally to facilitate adultery that led to two deaths. Both should have been tarred-n-feathered then run out on a rail unemployed.
\
4.9 ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Hooyah, Salutes...
It was a little bit of a stretch for me having Sharon go from conservative, loving wife to cheater, but great writing kept me engaged in the story. Well constructed narrative that linked segments of dialogue worked well. Great start! 4.5*
Great job on your first story. Really enjoyed reading it. The outcome gave me a little smile. Thanks for your writing.
Bacchant brought up point about death taking away the opportunity to make key points that change a story for the story better.
Hindsight it always 20/20. One way to help prevent that is to use beta readers. They might say, 'you should do this or that."
In this case, after the story has been published and it is too late, I would have said, the wife should have survived but been terribly injured. Then you as the author have a way to get them to talk. She loved him but she betrayed him. He loves her, but can he ever trust her again? He finds Cindy loves him and he loves her and can rely on her.
Does he stay with his wife? and why might he? Some have the poor sap nurse the cheating bitch for months and then she leaves him or he leaves her.
In this case, he bonded with the in-laws, but would he if she'd survived?
All those questions pop up with a good beta reader who cuts your story and asks hard questions. Ultimately the final story is yours.
"Too bad you didn't love me today," I sighed, and turned to walk out.
And then the machines went crazy. I was rushed out by the nurses, and the doctors surrounded her. The doctor that had spoken to me earlier came out and told me that she had passed.
One of the best couple of lines ever in Lit loving wives! Cheater done in by her own choices! Atta baby!
WOW, DAMN!!! First story?? You nailed it! Please continue writing, new writers are always needed. KUDOS on your first story!
⭐⭐⭐
The story was a bit, well more than a bit, all over the place.
But good basics.
1. Writing was fine, needed a little editing.
2. Events happening in such a compacted time frame lessened my connection to the story.
3. So many happy endings, love, $, child soon, I became less involved with the story.
4. Definitely a 5
Pretty solid first story, overall. A bit over the top in places, a bit too breathless in others, but a promising start.
Good story but a couple quibles. How many happily married virgin brides decide to run off to get some strange just after learning their preggers? Plus tell both their best friend and mother beforehand? Seems very unlikely to me.
Brentjw
The idea that a normal person would jump into a sexual relationship under these circumstances, so very quickly, defies common sense, not to mention common decency. Ick.
Doesn’t need long and self serving comments….
Definitely a great first (hopefully not last) story…
Made my early morning
"Sharon had been complaining about him being an egotistical asshole" - So of course she cheated with him.
???
"Sharon and I had met in college" - What does this have to do wit the story?
???
"you can file suit against the bank for not enforcing the morals clause" - Can we put this plot point to bed? No, he can't.
???
"I'm sure that the school system might want to settle to keep that kind of information out of the news." - That's not on the schools system, unless they fail to punish Bullock.
???
"I'm glad Sharon has released you from your vows." - She's dead, their vows are meaningless.
Excellent story. Something tells me that even though this was your first fiction you have written other works. *****
"The doctor that had spoken to me earlier came out and told me that she had passed.
I was numb"
Don't know why he goes into shock because of this, he lost nothing of actual value that day.
A bit rambling, and disconnected in places, and it hit most of the LW cliches. Lovers killed in a wreck? Still worth four stars. Try to not include so many cliches...
/
JPB NOT BOB
Great story! Any emotions for Sharon disappeared pretty quickly and the person who did alot of damage, Janet, got off Scott free, but it covered alot of ground in a short time. Well done.
A most impressive debut. Splendid. Five stars. Navigated what could have been familiar territory (wife who was a virgin at marriage wants to try another man) with original twists. Having the cheating wife die before she could consummate her infidelity is definitely a Hooked move. Even though the man himself never made that move. So this new author manages to thread through the tropes to find something new. Yes, definitely a five.
Janet should’ve gotten burned big time in the massive fallout, if it weren’t for her consistently badgering Sharon to have an affair then she wouldn’t have ended up dead.
Well done on your first try. I don't have much to say other than the pacing was good. The new romance was telegraphed but the story carried me along. 4 stars for the story and 1 more to say well done for taking the leap. 5 stars in total.
The story is technically well written and is quite an achievement for a first time author of fiction. Hopefully, the author will become a frequent contributor to LW. Anything is possible in a fictional world, but the most impactful of the genre reflects the reality the reader inhabits. Here, the story falls a bit short. The rapidity with which the MC recovers from so many devastating events in his life is beyond the resilience displayed by any human one would meet in daily life. The actions of the intended paramour's brother are wildly impulsive and seem highly unlikely to reflect the behavior of someone who had the judgement and self control to rise to a senior position in an educational system. Cindy comes across as opportunistic in the way she burrows into the MC' s life immediately following the death of the ill fated adultress, her supposed best friend of many years. The likelihood such a person would prove to be a loving and stable companion over many years seems low.
Well written but just a bit too contrived for me.
I would think that it would be near impossible for a superintendent to hold a 3 hr workshop on a Friday afternoon (Teachers Union and all), at least without having to explain why. And even if he could, would he really tie up an entire district of faculty just so he could cover for his brother could fuck one of the teacher's wives?? What was in it for him to take a risk like that? And then he was stupid enough to talk about it and be recorded. And then he was stupid enough to try to convince the police that this teacher somehow had control of a speeding train, and used it as a murder weapon - to be at the exact place and time where the cheaters would cross. I would really hope that no one this dumb would have influence over future generations.
These stories that have one bad influencer convincing an otherwise faithful wife that she has to cheat really bother me. It assumes the wife is stupid, gullible, or shallow (or all three). I just don't buy that any somewhat intelligent woman would be swayed by that.
I know the story had to be set up but try to imagine a more realistic scenario.
The romance with Cindy, as others have pointed out, far too fast. Interesting how the Mom, who lived in a different part of the country, had pull with an arena official in Raleigh. Everything was a bit too Hallmark at the end for me.
One of the best first offerings by a new author in a long time. Both the plot AND the writing were very high quality. Hopefully this author will treat us to additional stories.
.
The plot, of course, relies on yet another crazy female who claims that she just MUST see what fucking another man is lie, as she has only been with her husband. To make this insanity ever crazier, she is off to do it for a weekend shortly after finding out she is pregnant with her husband’s child 🤗. Can the premise for a story be any more unbelievable? Of course not! This is LW at Literotica!
.
But given the premise, the story was well told and satisfying. A quibble with the ending: so he never told his kids that he was married before marrying their mother?
.
5 *****
Pro tip, the only people the read the LW section for sex are freak cucks who like the thought of their wife having sex with better men
.
Everyone else is here for the emotional carnage
.
Spend more naritive time on either how he fucked up everyones lives or the sex she had outside of marriage if you want a higher score
.
neither LW demographic cares about sex between committed adult who dont hate each other
Good and bad in this story, but having the MC tell his daughter, in substance, that he was “eternally grateful” his first wife was killed in a train wreck was a bit much.
Not bad, but it felt like 2 separate stories. Also, the Mom knew and didn't try hard enough to stop it.
Sharon was gonna get hers. Cindy did get hers, and has children by the man she really loves and loves her!
Yeah, just couldn't really buy it. Too many influencial friends that conveniently allowed the story to work. The death of a LW is just a waste and an easy way out. Sure kill the evil coniving hateful wife, if you really must, but killing off a wife that actually believes she's a LW is just giving her an easy way out. Having to live a life as a single mum forever regretting her poor decisions would have been far more painful.
The speed at which the MC moved on, and his behaviour was a little bit of an eye opener to the kind of person he was. He was no hero, and it just made me think that Sharon had a deeper reason to cheat, and it wasn't just to experience some strange.
I don't even want to go into the levels of weak will someone would need to be turned into a cheater just because some idiot work colleague liked to talk crap. Nah, there was a lot more going on there than we were being told, and I'd really wonder what part Cindy played in persuading Sharon to cheat. Especially considering how quickly Cindy was to grass on Sharon and then the speed at which she moved into Tom's life. Cindy really was playing the long game.
Keep writing. So what if it has many cliche. As long as it is well written, people would enjoy it.
I do wonder what happen to the superintendent who abused his position to help his brother's evil plan.
Have you noticed? Anonymous is always an AH and never has the courage to use a real name?
Good story. One glaring faux pas “ I told Mom the facts about Cindy's death”. Cindy hadn’t died.
Too neat and tidy. The MC has a lot of trauma that probably did not get processed, but he went and got married, tying it all up in a bundle for the next wife. And the alienation of affection idea is a serious LW cliche.
Are you sure you couldn't squeeze a couple of more cheating wife tropes in there?
A really, really great story. I agree with KRD12954 that Janet and the asshole's brother did not receive the comeuppence they deserved. Had you dealt with them appropriately, it would have been a 5 star masterpiece rated in the 95th or higher percentile.
I didn't rate your story because:
The story left me in a mental (sad) condition.
My thought is; how could a woman who wanted to get pregnant by her husband think for even a second about a another man taking her for a weekend sex adventure.
The writing was good the event-s left me cold.
I just wrote a comment; then I read a huge number of 5 or near grade 5 comments.
My math (the odds) hints to me strongly that this isn't a first story but maybe written by a experienced writer using a different name. I hope that's not True.
5 stars! It's always convenient when the spouse dies just after having crossed the line. It makes grieving and being comforted by the deceased's best friend so much easier. The MC was relatable and this reader felt empathy for him. The story was well paced, and loose ends were all tied up. Well done!
What a stupid plot device. I guess after fucking a strange white guy she'd have to try out a black guy, then a midget, then a threesome, then a woman, etc. All the mother had to say is that I'm going to tell your husband, so you should start planning on being a single parent. End of fuckfest but probably end of marriage anyway. The stupid whore definitely did Not love him. Dead is better than divorced.
Thanks for all the comments. I did intend to write a fitting ending for Janet and George. Janet was a last minute addition to the story and I didn't come back to her. I apologize. George was based off an a55hole I really had to deal with (not in the same context) but I was afraid I'd try to have him die as well, so I left that open.
I realize this was a first effort but couldn’t get through it. A couple of constructive thoughts. The author spent excruciating detail on superfluous and inane dialogue and minor details. Then skirted over the meaningful or gave precious little attention to it.
There were far too many clichés. The story became scattered and difficult to follow the flow. Good idea but failed in the delivery.
Death and loss don't go well with arousal and sexual stimulation. Its very difficult for someone who is relating to an MC who is experiencing the extreme loss of his partner both from humiliating betrayal and worse - death, to realistically want to indulge in sexual intimacy. There is a reason for mourning. Psychologically speaking its difficult for me as a reader to just so easily become aroused after I know that the life I had is destroyed and the one I shared it with is gone. I realize there are more simply wired people who don't care about such things and will get rigid with the drop of a dime, but I think in general, death is a big Debbie Downer in fiction just like in real life.
Page 2
In the long run he will realize he got off easy.
Why the hell would he want a relationship with his in laws???
Page 3
OK being crippled with grief for Lucy makes sense.
End
Gotta' love a happy ending.
Love the description of school administrators and their workshops. It seems it's a universal trait. I'm a retired teacher.
LOL this has to be a baseball story with all the references to other landslide events! Author did not miss many unfortunately it (in my opinion left the bounds of time and space OH YES ventured into the TWILIGHT ZONE). **1/2 stars
For your first story post, this one was damned good. You have some real writing ability. I’m in for a *5, and keep writing.
Started off LW cliche then morphed into a Romance story. Enjoyable read. Thanks.