All Comments on 'Kicking and Screaming Ch. 03'
by SevMax2
- 8 Comments
... Immediately stop reading when the ex-wife asked Jack where his name came from.
The woman was MARRIED to the man, yet never bothered asking him this obvious first date question until their divorce? And we're supposed to buy that?!
Naw - fuck that. This is too stupid to keep on reading.
Too short. We shouldn't have to wait to find out what's on the agenda with Nadia (and James?).
I don't buy him "pounding" Karen. I can just barely accept intercourse rather that artificial insemination.
Yeah, it's a little off the beaten track, but so is all of SevMax's stuff. I liked it and I'm curious if it will continue.
There is a reason for the Karen part. It's not something that I felt like getting into in that particular chapter, but in the follow-up story, it will probably be discussed. There were a couple of reasons, in fact. One, Karen felt it would help her bond better with Jill if she conceived naturally rather than clinically at the same time that Jill did. Of course, this was just for the pregnancy and Karen cut him off after that.
The second was atonement for pushing Jill to kick him out. Karen being a decent, if flawed woman, she actually felt bad about that afterward, since it was his own house from which she had him evicted. She never expected Jill to go to the extreme of gunpoint.
Now, does moving back with that pair make perfect sense? Not for me, but for Jack, he feels that with backup, with a shotgun that he now has access to again, and with plenty of locks, he can try to make it work. If it doesn't, then they might have to work out something else. I'm not ruling out this whole thing going up shit creek without a paddle. He's taking a risk that I frankly wouldn't take myself.
As for that question about his name, did it occur to you that perhaps Jill is a bit more self-absorbed than other wives might be? I mean, hell, she wasn't even aware that she was poly or bi until later.
By the way, sbrooks, the reason that she needs both isn't because she's bi. I never said that it was. It was because she was poly. She's just not very mature about how to handle those kinds of emotions. She's a hothead, to be frank. Another reason why I would be a bit more hesitant to move back in with her myself.
From a technical viewpoint your tale was excellent. But I found the plethora of couples a little difficult to follow...especially the bloody mass wedding scene. Very repetitive to the point of annoying! Your obvious objective was to portray polyamory and you did at the expense of plot and character development. Not one of your best.