- First Time
- Love at First Bump
- Comments
All Comments on 'Love at First Bump'
by squired_raisin
- 20 Comments
Thanks for the positive feedback. It's a great boost for my confidence, as a first time writer, to receive this type of feedback and I really appreciate it. Seeing as this is such a success, I'll definitely be writing a part 2.
~SR
Overwritten (juices by the bucket load?) but who cares, it fits the style.
Pt 2? Their lame explanation only encourages Sophie to get involved. She demands they clean up her car, and each other, which leads to girl-girl fun then a threesome, before they even get to the cabin.
Pt 3?? Clothing optional (or swapping); lakeside, fireside, in the open air...
Just a few ideas. But keep writing: isn't it satisfying!
Right after the deer in the road, you have Sophie mashing her lips to his...
I'm guessing this car was a 60's era 'land yacht' that the front seat was big enough for all of them and a VERY large suitcase that blocked Sophie from seeing all the activity?
I actually imagined it like a modern vehicle, with a small area for a compartment between them (cup holders, cooler/fridge thing that everyone usually stashes snacks inside, etc.) That means that the suitcase isn't very large. Certainly tall enough to block the people on the other side completely and fit between the seats.
-- Thanks again for the support, guys. Currently working on part two and fitting in some spicy surprises ;)
Hope you'll like it
~SQ
Apart from the confusion that fixer43 points out, between Sophie and Rachel after Sophie had stopped for the deer, did you mean that Rachel leaned forward to kiss his lips, as Sophie was blocked off by the suitcase between them, Do keep writing, it was a "touching" story, maybe parts 2 & 3??
Anon, I just realized what fixer meant. Instead of Rachel, I wrote Sophie. That was a mistake. Thanks, fixer43, for pointing that out.
Well, you've described an interesting situation. How will Sophie, Rachel and Sam handle this?
Looking forward to finding out...
Very good story. I think it might have gone a little to quickly, not quite enough build up as I would normally like, but hey who cares. I most definitely want to see a part 2 and 3 and so on so forth. You've got a great start to what could be a long run of stories.
You done good! Sam is one lucky bastard! Now, switch drivers and let's see who gets it next.....
All's I can think about now is the "sex is no accident" advertisement meme from MTV 😂
This story is amazing! It has the right amount of detail (informative but not overbearing), and the actual scenes are believable enough to get you invested.
Wonderful story, it has been some time but please continue, more please more.