Cougar House Ep. 034: Minor Detail

Saturday morning...8:00 AM

The home of Bruno and Carmen Hancock...Brian and Jeffrey Hancock's dad and stepmother...hot ass stepmom at that...

Heidi Bishop was Bruno's youngest stepdaughter and so into mischief these days it was hard to deal with her. Being the baby of the four daughters Carmen had with her ex-husband Ned Bishop the teenager always felt like the black sheep, ignored and babied way too often. She considered herself an adult and demanded to be one even if she wasn't quite there yet. Knowing all of her sisters wild antics she wanted to be just like them, but everyone tried to keep her innocent. Not today! Heidi intended to go from one extreme to the next. She of course would be set straight. Kids these days!

"Okay! First thing's first...I'm not doing the car wash at school wearing any one piece bathing suit, other girls will be wearing similar so I'm not looking out of place around them when I'm way hotter. MJ is closest to my size so I'm stealing her string bikini. She won't miss it until tomorrow cuz I know she's working with Mom at the bakery today. Daphne is with her friend Chelsea for the weekend probably hooking up with some boy in Griswold. Gwen barely says a word to me these days, I think her boyfriend Braedon must have mentioned oiling me and Andrea up that day at Kinison Park. I mean it was innocent on my part but Andrea did go further than I did. I really should have told Gwen but I didn't want her to think I was lying. Braedon would never have admitted to things he did. I know he didn't confess to Gwen or she would have yelled at me. Strange how our stepbrother Brian has been hanging with her so much. I mean he kissed all of my sisters except for me at the ice cream parlor. No fair!"

Locating MJ's string bikini she took it to her bedroom and swiftly stripped out of her shorts and tank top, putting the bikini on, as a result a mesmerizing reflection in her mirror made her incredibly giddy. "So hot! Guys at school won't be able to keep their eyes off me." Hands most likely too, but she hadn't considered that much yet. If she could just wear this and not have any of her Faculty members complain she would be a happy camper. Of course, those Teacher's in attendance to supervise things were most men, with the exception of Mrs. Filmore. Fannie was always cool, she often wore questionable outfits to school herself and got away with it every time.

"Most of the older Teacher's won't even participate in school charity events so I might be good to go. I'll just wear my jean shorts and my tank over the bikini until I get there. Seeing as I'm walking I better stay covered in case someone who knows Mom or Bruno rats me out." Jeans returning to her hips, and tank top pulled over her head she was ready to rock and roll. "Oops! Almost forgot my sunglasses." A fast retreat back into her bedroom to grab them from her nightstand along with her cellphone she happened to notice someone tall walk by her window but hadn't got a good look as to who. Out of panic she worried that her stepdad Bruno had come home while she was being sneaky.

Unable to see him further she went to the front door of their home and opened it to peek out. "Brian's truck is backed up in the driveway with the tailgate down. I wonder why?" A second after asking herself that she found her culprit. "It's my stepbrother Jeff." He was carrying chunks of cut tree trunk from the side of the house where Bruno kept wood for their fireplace. Curious still she wondered if he were alone or if Brian was here too. Would Brian let Jeff drive his truck? After Jeffrey had slid his three cords of wood into the bed of the truck he turned to find Heidi standing on the porch.

"Sup Heidi?" He smiled at her. He hadn't seen her in over a year. "Damn kid! You got boobs." That made her day. "Wanna help me load up wood for a bonfire we're having?"

"I can shake them even." She had 34B's but let's not ponder that. Jeff in seeing her shake them had to look away and appear respectable. "I'll help if you give me a ride to the school after. Charity car wash. You should wash Brian's truck." She had a strong feeling Jeff was on his own today. "Wait! Bonfire? I wanna come."

"You're too young to talk like that." Jeff razzed her in passing but had a work glove on that swatted her arm. "Dad got gloves around?"

"In his dresser they have Trojan written on them." She razzed him back.

"Now! Now! Don't be talking like that. You know those aren't the kind of gloves I was referring to."

"I know! I was just teasing."

"Save that kind for your sisters."

"Hey! Don't be mean. I'm cute too." She followed him around the side of the house like a lost puppy. He knew she was adorable but too young to go flirting hard with. Besides his mind was on his Korean beauty Yon that he met at Fiddle Stix Country Western Bar. He intended to get as close to Yon as possible if she were willing. For now he had a job to do seeing as he had the weekend off from the Sewer Department. Sympathy for Heidi he gave her one of his gloves to protect her at least some from getting splinters. "You know you're gonna get dirty carrying wood here. I'll be here awhile if you wanna go change."

"I can grab another shirt before we leave. I haven't seen you in a long time Jeff."

"Over a year I was just thinking." They carried more wood to the trunk from the pile.

"It's really cool you and Brian are wanting to know us all better. We are family."

"I know! We're getting there Heidi Ho!" He realized his nickname sounded bad so changed it to, "Heidi Low!" Just as bad once he noticed her drop a cord and bend to pick it up, her jean shorts offering way more cheekage than he expected. Humming to himself he swiftly diverted his gaze. In his mind he had to dial it back, "Why do they make girls her age look so hot knowing guys gotta look?" Frowning he took her delivery and tossed them. "Tell you what? I'll eventually have to hop up in the bed and stack them neater so why don't you hop up in bed and straighten out as I bring them to you?"

"I knew you wanted to get me in bed." She returned his earlier razz. "Just kidding!" Kids!

"Uh huh! Brain out of the gutter punk." He turned away, he had to do the same. Sadly he looked back just as she climbed up into the truck bed and saw those cheeks again. Growling he walked away. "Couldn't be Daphne or MJ could it?"

She kept busy in the bed stacking the wood neatly toward the front. Being young her mind was always plotting some form of devious notion to antagonize boys, even though Jeffrey was in his 20's to her he was still a boy, even as she intended to be an adult herself. With him returning with more chunks she fanned herself. "Hot out today."

"80 already and it's only 9:00." He took time to peruse his cell for the facts. While he did she made her move. Whipping her tank top over her head she lay it over the side of the bed out of her way. Wearing that string bikini the fullness of her breasts were a bit too much for the thin material. Jeff putting away his cell looked up from the tailgate just as Heidi bent forward in front of him to pick up the wood. Eyes bulging at her chest close to his face he swallowed dryly and looked a bit too long for his own good.

"Quit drooling." She razzed him again and went about her business letting his thoughts process her.

"Your mom let you wear things that...skimpy?"

"I'm fully covered thank you." In teasing him her nipples spiked making it harder for Jeff not to look. One good glance and he turned his back to flare his eyes where Heidi couldn't see him.

"Jesus Christmas! MJ! MJ! MJ! DAPH! DAPH! DAPH! YON! YON! YON! MARGO! MARGO! MARGO!" He had to make his rounds so as not to let his youngest stepsister get the best of him. He knew damned well he couldn't, nor wouldn't touch her, but when a girl teases it was hard not to get a visual.

"He's checking me out!" She grew excited, "Go me!" While awaiting his next load she felt like pushing it further and removed her jean shorts. With her sister's bikini so skimpy the patch covering her lower bikini area his very little so she just knew he was going to admire her closely. Back to him she made it appear as if she were just now placing wood in the truck bed's neatly stacked mountain.

Coming back with more wood Jeffrey instantly spotted her pretty much bare bottom and froze in step, "I just knew she was going to lose the shorts. No way does her mom Carmen let her wear that kind of slingshot. Trouble is I can't go telling her mom when I know Bri is chasing the other sisters. Carmen might start questioning all of them. "I'll just give dad a heads up text when I drop her off at the high school. He can put his foot down on her, or boot up her ass. Whichever comes first! Better he deal with it than anything I have to say."

With Jeff slower than usual she turned around and toyed with the glove on her left hand acting perfectly normal. Once he dropped his delivery off on the tailgate she looked up to witness him eying her lower body. "Am I getting dirty?" She nibbled her lower lip.

"You know you are. No way is the school going to let you wear that dental floss to wash cars."

"Why not? I've seen other girls do it? Frannie Filmore does."

He recalled Heath Talbot having recently tapped the Spanish Teacher and chuckled, "I remember Fannie!"

"Why do you call her Fannie? It's Frannie." She plucked up the wood, in bending her tits nearly fell out. To avoid staring he too toyed with his right hand's glove. Giving her time to place the wood on the stack he observed her lean forward, her ass poised in his direction.

"That's why!" He laughed. "Put your shorts back on Streaker!"

"I don't want to. It's too hot." She resisted his order. He wasn't her boss.

"Whatever!" He chose to head out for another trip. "My luck I'll come back and she'll be topless. I'm going to have to yell at her before she straightens up." Sadly, while knowing it wrong he did have a hard on. His mentioning of the girls sisters, Yon, and Momma Margo had his dick aroused even without Heidi's temptations. Nothing he could do about it so he let it go. Coming back he found her sitting on the tailgate with her feet up on the edge, fanning her knees from side to side while her bikini bottoms narrowed between her thighs. Ignoring her flirtations he dropped off his chunks next to her as she stared at him without blinking.

"Jeffrey?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Ugly as fuck!" He turned away laughing. The second his back was to her she used the height of the bed to jump on his back giggling!

"I AM NOT!" She wrapped her legs about his waist, her arms about his neck choking him as she kissed his cheek, "APOLOGIZE!"

"Nope! Calling it as I see it. Small boobs! Ratty hair! Skinny legs! No ass!"

"You're lying! You think I'm sexy! I saw you checking me out. I know you have a woody."

"Get off me Heidi! I'm not playing here!"

"Then, let's go inside."

"That's not even what I meant." He had to laugh, "Get down before I whup your ass."

"Dare you!" The kid was waaaay too lippy.

"Fine! I'll just call your Mom and she can deal with you." He poised his cell after digging it out of his back pocket, the problem was in reaching for it his hand rubbed along her ass cheek.

"You probably don't even have Mom's number."

"I have my dad's! He can put his size 12 up your back side!"

"Is he really that big?" She chuckled.

"Stop turning everything I say sexually. Get down...last chance!" He showed her his dad's cell number ready to dial it. That was enough to spook her into hopping down, Trouble was in lowering herself, Heidi's already loose bikini top came undone and the dragging motion of her breasts against his back it pulled away from her flesh. She hadn't really perceived it happening until he turned around to see her tits uncovered. Eyes bulging Jeff used his forearm to block his gaze of them. "Cover those up."

"Crap!" She squealed laughing, "I didn't know that would happen." She said and waited a moment to add, "Covered!" Hesitant he dropped his arm only to see her back to him, completely topless and holding her bikini top over her head in both hands. Shaking her ass at him she peered over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at Jeff. Shaking his head he simply turned around and went after more firewood. He was adding every girls name he could think of to calm his thoughts on Heidi. This was getting impossible to deal with. It was to the point he even mentioned Fannie Filmore himself. As if that helped!

Thankfully, Heidi put her top back on, jeans too. She knew he was getting pissed and didn't want to take the chance he might actually call her stepdad Bruno. He had spanked her in years past and it was not pleasant.

"What's taking Jeff so long?" She fidgeted then chose to take a walk to the side of the house. Seeing his back to her and his hand hidden from sight in front of him she flared her eyes, "Oh my gosh! Is he jerking off because of me?" His arm was moving! Hurrying she rounded the other side of the house to catch him by peeping at the back corner. Sure enough he was jacking off. Watching him and realizing how big he was down there she whimpered. "Not ready!" Regardless while he had no idea of her watching he quickly shot off a few milky threads of cum. Hearing him growl spooked her and she took off like a light.

Racing back to the truck while he zipped up she stood there kicking the toes of her tennis shoes on the driveway. As he plopped his current load on the truck bed she shyly looked at him. "Happy now?" She meant that she had gotten dressed.

"Relieved!" Silence for the next ten minutes his job was done. Hers just beginning.

********

Checking her bank account online Margo Needy discovered the cash that her son had forwarded to her bank. Staring at the amount her heart skipped a beat. "It's there...just like he promised. Oh my God! I can apply this to use as a down payment on the B&B loan I applied for. I'll wait and see what the Appraiser values the property at then make plans to go to Paris. I have no choice but to go through with this now, unless I send the money back to this young man Farouk." A moment longer to stare at the bills she owed she sighed, "No Oui am I not going to have to fly overseas." She smirked long before she laughed at the irony of her situation. "The things I do for Elliot! I swear!"

"Tents are erected!" Cabot Ross made his appearance known standing at her office door. "We made good time. I'm gonna grab a shower and run into Wildwood to see my Grandma!"

"Tell her I said hello. As soon as I'm done here I'm going to work on my belly dancing outfit. Tonight will come all too fast."

"Ready to be ravished?"

"What's our attendee total? Money good?"

"Eric collected the cash, not trusting Brian or Heath with it." He laughed, "Last I heard we have sixty guys. Invitations are inviting more though so hard telling. Wanna back out?"

"You know I won't! Why do you even question me?"

"Just giving you the chance."

"You might...but Masters Brian and Heath would never let me. Not that I would even ask to cancel. I look forward to turning them all on."

"Your holes Mom! Your holes!"

"Yes, but...with the cash I just got from Farouk added to the money I'm getting for putting out...at least I'm not...in the hole."

"Ha! So the Egyptian dude came through?"

"Oh yes! I have to let him know when to come pick me up. He told me a helicopter will fly here and take me to the airport. Lear jet all the way to France. As nervous as I am to do this FOR Elliot I know I need to in order to make my dream come true. Let's just hope the bank will take my newfound income as collateral. It might not be enough."

Sighing, Cabot entered the office then sat down on the leather loveseat across from her. Taking a nervous breath he rubbed his palms together and found it in him to admit another prosperous solution. "Do you know a woman named Roselyn Albright?"

"I haven't heard that name in awhile. Why do you ask?"

"Well...I know she's filthy rich. She eats at Hilltop all the time and asks for my tables. She has a boy crush on me. If you have to sleep with this Farouk guy to finance Wildwood Inn...maybe I can suck it up and sleep with Roselyn if I can get her to be a silent partner in the B&B."

"Goodness! Cabot...you just took my breath away. Darryl...slept with Roslyn years ago when she was married to Reginald Albright! After he died she's remained single to this day. I know she...likes younger men. You would honestly talk her into backing us up?"

"I can only try. Trouble is I'm already juggling Maria, well getting there in my juggling act."

"Nikki and Kwikki?"

"I still haven't hooked up with the N'Dolla twins. I want to but haven't had time. Maybe when you're over in Europe I'll bring them out here if that's okay."

"I'm fine with that. I trust you."

"Thanks! There's also a girl named Grace Goode! She lives in Maria's apartment complex. She's...kind of religious though, her dad's a Minister."

"My aren't we racking up the girls?" She giggled.

"We all are. Heath has that pool girl Jenna, and Fannie Filmore...maybe that girl at the Country Bar. Eric has his sister's best friend Lisa..."

"Wait I thought her name was Kym?"

"Kymberly Lisa Hines! She answers to Kym or Lisa. Then there's that Club owner he's gonna revisit. Anyway, Brian is messing with three of his stepsisters, Gwen you know, but there's a Daphne, and an MJ too. Jeff has this Yon girl. Between our jobs and tapping your sexy ass we don't have any spare time that we don't set aside on purpose, like your party and Heath fixing up the treehouse. Once the party is over our lives are going to get insane."

"I'll be overlooked." She pouted.

"Like hell! We worship your ass Momma."

"I can't expect all of you to spend every second with me. After Paris I'll need to devote time to remodeling Wildwood Inn, if that's what we're calling it."

"That's just an option. It's your B&B you name it what you want."

"Darryl's Dungeon?" She mused.

"Mad respect!" He nodded with pride, "I better get moving or I won't have time to see Grandma and Maria."

"Have fun! I'll see you at bonfire time."

Hopping up he stepped to her side and leaned in to kiss her warmly on the lips. "Love you Mom!"

"I love you too Cabot." Very much! "All of you."

********

Wildwood High School...

"Here ya go Kid." Jeffrey pulled into the driveway of the Teacher's parking lot. Along the main road were girls in bathing suits, some daring to go bikini. Eyeballing a few of the Seniors he grinned and made it known he was scoping them out. Barely legal sure but he wasn't that ancient yet. Spotting Fannie Filmore his eyes popped out of his head. It had been ages since seeing her anywhere. Those monster tits of hers barely hanging in her melon slings had a line up of cars waiting to be washed. With her were a number of girls and guys swarming vehicles to make the charity worth while.

"See! I told you Frannie wore what I have on. I don't know how she keeps her tits from falling out. At least mine will stay put as long as I don't tease." Heidi chuckled, "Oh, and stop calling me Kid. I'm not a child anymore."

"Whatever you say Princess! Who's that brunette over there with the glasses?" He points at another bathing beauty in a black bikini, she too struggling to keep her hooters handy.

"Jenna Nichols! She graduated last year I think. She always volunteers when the school throws these car washes. Sure you don't wanna wash Brian's truck?"

"Might later! I don't wanna get our wood wet."

"Like you did in the yard when you thought I wasn't watching?" She stuck her tongue out.

"You little snoop." He shook his head regretting his sneaky masturbation, "Don't let seeing that go to your head."

"Like it went to yours? Come on Jeffrey!"