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Click hereMartha Henson was admiring the rose bushes she had recently planted along the garage when her phone rang. Checking caller ID, she saw Bill Murphy's name. Her face lit up in a smile as she answered the call.
"Hey, Bill. I thought you weren't going to call me when I'm at home with Joe. It's okay right now because I'm out checking my rose bushes while I'm waiting for him to see a man about a horse. We're going to be taking my new Prius on a little road trip as soon as he's ready. Don't call me again today, okay?"
"I just had to talk to you again, Martha. It seems like every time we have sex, I start feeling really lonely the next day. I wish we could get together more often," complained Bill.
"Why don't you just get a piece off Sue? She can't be that bad in the sack, or can she?" responded Martha with a chuckle. "Your problem is you've been to the Promised Land and everything else pales in comparison."
"She just lays there like she can't wait for me to finish up," admitted Bill. "You have that amazing snapping pussy that nibbles on my cock and then squeezes it hard. Joe's lucky to be able to tap that every day."
"I've told you Joe doesn't get my little kitty every day. He only gets it when he deserves it," responded Martha with a laugh. "Today he's taking me for a ride in my new car and then we'll stop for a nice dinner. If he plays his cards right, he'll be up to his balls in paradise tonight."
"The lucky bastard!" whined Bill. "I can't even get Sue to suck me off. I think having two kids has made her a frigid bitch. I'll probably be jerking off thinking about Joe tapping your sweet ass."
"Joe doesn't get my ass very often. I save that for special occasions, like your birthday."
"Are you saying Joe's going to get your ass on my birthday?" asked Bill. "That's not fair!"
"Yeah, I promised Joe he could fuck my ass to celebrate your birthday, you dumb shit," responded Martha with another chuckle. "That's why I like sleeping with you. I always feel in control, not to mention how I enjoy being a ton smarter than you."
"You like my big cock and how I eat pussy. We both know that," asserted Bill.
"I admit that does help sway me in your direction," answered Martha. "Listen, I can't talk any longer. Joe should be done pissing by now and I have to find out why he's not out here ready to leave. Think of me tonight while I'm riding Joe cowgirl style. I know that's one of your favorites."
Martha terminated the phone connection with Bill and walked to the front of the garage only to find her husband sitting behind the wheel of her new car. She wondered who he was speaking with since he was holding his phone in front of his face.
"Are you on the phone with someone?" asked Martha as she buckled her seatbelt.
"Actually, Dad's on the phone with me," came a voice from Joe's phone.
"Bev! It's nice to hear from you. When will you be coming home next?" questioned Joan. "Your father and I have been thinking of driving up to Dallas to see you."
"I was going to come home for your birthday next weekend. Sue Murphy, Dad, Grandma and I had a big surprise party planned for you. It doesn't seem like it'll be happening now, though," admitted Bev.
"Oh? Why not? I know it wouldn't be a surprise now, but I'd love to have a party and celebrate with friends and family," responded Martha.
"Because your new car has Bluetooth. Dad's been on a conference call planning your party with Grandma, Sue Murphy and me. We've been on the phone for several minutes."
"Sue and Mom are on the phone with you? This technology is amazing. How's everyone doing?" asked Martha cheerfully.
"For a soon to be divorced frigid bitch, I'm doing okay," was Sue Murphy's bitter reply.
"Your conversation with Bill was enlightening for us, Mom. We were having a conference call when your new car picked up Bill's call to you. Dad and the rest of us heard the entire thing. I don't think Dad's all that excited about getting your ass for Bill's birthday, but maybe I'm wrong. Why don't you ask him?"
Very good. Much better than your other short stories recently, which seem to have gone downhill a lot for some reason. Most of I'm trying to be funny, and losing. Just becoming more raunchy and stupid recently for some reason.
So hubby is long gone and she's doomed to drive a Prius because of bluetooth?
I always thought a brown tooth was bad! .......
For those who haven't experienced it, Bluetooth has the capacity to span multiple sources and origins. One night when my wife and I were driving in one car, and my kids in another, my phone wouldn't play the audiobook I had been listening to. It turned out it was playing in the *other* vehicle, and (my phone) had captured that receiver to use for output. I doubt the output from a handheld goes out more than one receiver, unless it is explicitly allowed to. It WOULD make sense to overhear a phone on hands free mode from another room, though.
TIP: If you are using a device with Bluetooth headphones for questionable content (say pron), and the broadcasting device is shared with your spouse's vehicle, DON'T do it!!! You could be sending your SO (and yourself) a nasty surprise!
5 Stars as her husband leaves her in a new Mustang . A shoutout to Stang for all of his great stories .
This was a quick and fun caught cheating story. I do wish there were more, but then it wouldn’t be quick and fun…so I’ll just say thanks for the story and effort. 5 Stars! Now, it would be fun for you to reuse this premise of finding out about a cheating wife.
I give it a like only not love because I would have enjoyed it more if the story continues to show bitch s suffering.
Jeez, people, get a grip. It's a fucking satirical story, not a technical manual. Dipsticks.
Wouldn't happen.
First the phone has to be paired to the car and then the car can only be paired to one device at a time, but worst of all when the car and phone are paired and connected the car takes over the functionality of the phone, so you can neither use the phone to speak nor listen to calls with.
However, if she'd been on the call and was in range of the car and her phone automatically paired what would have happened is that the occupants of the car would have heard the callers side of the conversation, or as much of until the caller realised he was getting no response. While the wife would have thought she'd been disconnected, forcing her to examine the phone and realise what had happened.
All quite irrelevant as the hubby was in the car on a conference call, thus he was the one paired to the car and she was not, so it didn't happen
Ouch!! DAMN all that new-fangled digital fancy-dancy stuff anyway. It’s not good for anything but causing trouble. That and some pretty good stories on Literotica. Thanks, HDK, that was short, sweet, and straight to the point. And the point was the end of a marriage. Pretty sure. 5 stars. Thanks again, HDK.
Ooh perfect short story. Brilliantly written and thoroughly enjoyable. With a great burn at the end. They fucked themselves literally lol. BardnotBard
4 Stars as it was a Prius . I have ridden in one Prius and that was enough for me . My next door neighbor gives his Prius rave reviews about the Gas Mileage . I have an Old Stang and an Old Camaro with a 396 that has been Balanced blue printed and bored . So it is basically a 427 on Steroids . It puts out north of 600 horsepower . The Mustang will be getting a gen 2 5 .0 engine .
Ouch! I’ll bet that was painful for someone. Thanks, HDK, very nice little short one.
What is there to bitch about in this one ? .Geez, it was a short story about a couple of dumb asses getting too cocky. Nice.
Ouch!! Bitten in the ass by 21st century technology.
Thanks, HDK, another great one.
5 stars
A funny snippet. Even for a short, non-story, I think five stars is in order..
JPB
Oh, Gee Whiz. How great life is. I've rolled on the floor laughing at this story. You gotta love trchnology.
A neighbor of mine got in trouble this way. He had fiancée No. 1 in the car when he parked and got out to check his mailbox. He then got a call from fiancée No. 2. When he tried to answer the call, it answered on the car speaker via Bluetooth and the fiancées were speaking to each other. He had some 'splashing to do and, eventually, fewer fiancées.
Funny ! A great, short little slice of life. Well wtitten and to the point.
5-😊😊😊😊😊
Isn't technology wonderful? Good old bluetooth has not worked for me all the time but for this story it is great!
If it's connected to the cars Bluetooth how is she hearing Bill? He could hear her be his responses would be to the car audio
C'mon it was a fun one. Will the bluetooth bit might have been off this is LW, if the fucking husband was a Navy Seal, with CIA connections and a Golden ticket from the President of the United States, and several other countries and he blew Bill up with a drone strike, you'd be wetting yourselves with glee.
I found myself hating her so much early in the story that the ending only illuminated everything. She was truly an unlikable human being. Good to be rid of her.
I don’t think if one is connected from a blue toooth…conversation can happen in the normal manner if the phone is with you. No sound will come from the phone as the sound wil be relayed from the Bluetooth speakers!! This story seems too out of touch withbreality
A very possible scenario. A few weeks ago I was going to take my wife’s vehicle to gas it up for her because she was taking a short trip the next day. I kissed my wife goodby and told her I would be back in a few minutes. I walked through the door and into the garage, started the car and started to back out of the garage when the Blue Tooth kicked in and I was suddenly overhearing a telephone conversation that my wife had just made. I just sat there and listened, I won’t go into detail of what I over heard, but I can assure you her call was very enlightening !
that's what you get for driving a Prius . I think I can see the future on this marriage and it ends in Divorce Court
The exact same thing happen to me. My wife was sitting in the patio next to our garage talking on her phone. I was backing her car out of the garage to go and get the oil changed. When the blue tooth system kicked in on her car over the speakers. I just sat there acting as though I was looking for some papers in the glove box, all the while she just kept on talking. Obvious to the fact I was hearing both sides of the conversation. Technology is great, but sometimes it’s AWFUL.
Les
This is one I wish kept going it was a wonderful ultra short but the probable reactions all round would be epic.
bluetooth phones can't support both using the phone and the car at the same time, but that's techie details and not part of HDN's world.
Wife is just another Narcissistic bitch, that thinks the world revolves around her. Most of the time, they never achieve real happiness. Another 40 something woman, enters the divorce pool...
Read it through once, went back to the top and read it again, Laughing all the way!
I'm new to these reviews. But, this looks like a great one. Funny. Good beginning, middle buildup. and end.
Thanks for writing it.
Really great short story. Reed, you’re beginning to sound like Lue making the same lame comment on every story. Some people just don’t accept cheating.
She’s just spreading the love around, is all.
And I remenber it happen !!
But in my story the husband was cheating !!
Just absolutely FUCKING-A-GREAT!!!! Thank you so much for the nice rolling on the ground laugh, I needed that this morning to kick start the day. LOL
Got to love technology. Every time my wife gets in the car, and I'm in the living room, I get a notification how far it is to where ever she's going - stops by the time she's at the end fo the driveway.
I had heard that HDK liked to fish and baited a good hook, but I was unaware he was a master at it. :) Anyway, great read, HDK. I'll mention you in my next missive. LOL!
Gotta watch technology! especially if you have secrets and a loose tongue!
I am divorced because my wife's family heard a conversation I had with a female neighbor. We flirted but there was nothing really going on at that time. But since my wife and I are now separated, I can no longer say that her neighbor and I are just flirting. Thank you Blue Tooth.
Martha My Love
"Silly girl....be true to me."
Yes, she should have.
For any "bluetooth doesn't work that way!" comments and sure enough...
It did work that way for me and my wife once (a very banal call) that I heard both sides of her conversation with her female coworker.
I used that in a story, also. :-)
You've been posting on this story for 15 years now. Fuck. An actual fucking legend.
has only to read this little gem. 750 words is (are?) no sweat for an author who has already known just how much he needs to tell us, and doesn't bother with all the excess context. He's clear, funny (always), and to the point.
Beautifully done! And I especially like how Martha's name momentarily becomes "Joan". (Presumably everyone knows her as Nancy...)
Hard to keep anything secret any more, a different surprise a week early, nice. Good job Sue was on the line, too, saves another awkward phone call. 5*
I liked the story and gave it good marks even though I've never seen Bluetooth work that way: when my (or my wife's) car grabs the call, the phone is cut out so she'd have known.
Still, an amusing story.
built-up; short stories are HDK's strength; typical HDK terse, blunt-talking characters; no unnecessary psychobabble and recriminations and self-flagellation on the wife's part. I actually kind of feel sorry for the girl getting caught. She must have been one happy soul before getting caught. Sad, but good story this.
Normally, he does it in two pages, but 750 is enough. Nicely done. The new technology can be a bitch right. :>)
Excellent
Your usual mastery of the craft. More fun per word than anyone I know. Thanks, Randi.
well done
i love when rhere are consequences for cheaters
5 stars and 100 hard ons
Bluetooth features on newer cars do work exactly as they did in this story--a well-written, concise story from one of the masters.
AIn't technology a bitch? This was vintage HDK but not on the funny side. But letting your kid, your husband and the wife of the man you're fucking know that you're cheating, all at one time, is quite the achievement. But my favorite line? "Gonna see a man about a horse"! I'm STILL laughing at that one. Well done.
Great story and to convey so much in 750 words or less is stellar writing!
Don’t think Bluetooth works that way. Know it doesn’t on our cars. It gives us the option of one, or the other ... not both. Aside from that quibble (and I believe BT COULD be made to happen that way) it was a delightful quicky.
Sweetie seems to NOT be smart enough to demand good discretion before evaluating dick thickness.
.
5*
Great twist on technology and I know this is fiction but from my experience if the phone gets picked up by the Bluetooth of a car the users phone goes mute to prevent feedback. So if Martha’s phone call from Bill was intercepted she would not have been able to hear the conversation or reply.
OK I will, the Prius BT doesn't work like that....
But hey, it was a fun little story and the reveal at the end was lovely, 5*