All Comments on 'Action, Reaction and Consequences Ch. 04'
by Inkent
- 26 Comments
There needs to be one more part about Lance and Anne.
That was the interesting part.
I feel the story took a diversion after the first part. The subsequent parts are not bad but the original plot was lost.
I'm just about to release the next part of this small saga. I ended up breaking this chapter up into two because it felt too unwieldy.
I'll 'fess up, I got got carried away in part 1 and it ended up far longer than it was supposed to be but it made it a short story in it's own right. The original nucleus for this whole tale is really starting in part 3, then speeds up through the remaining parts which should take us to 7 instalments. Both Lance and Anne reappear towards the end and have fairly significant parts to still play out.
Part 5 should be uploaded later today then I need to get it finished. At the moment I have a dilemma as some people will need to die and I'm in a quandary. There are two paths I can take and there is only one woman that can come out on top down each path so I need to decide which one to follow.
Ok, I was quick to note about the drugged drinks. That was answered. I enjoyed it overall. I am anxious about the two mystery men. After one crushed Matt's hand and like a wimp he walks away. What did they discuss with Tanya? 🤔
Crushing handshake. Tried to highlight it was conducted sublimely whilst giving anyone listening the impression they were best buddies. Mr Jones knew that it would be very hard for Matt to become aggressive in the environment without being seen as the villain in any ensuing fracas. PART 05 being submitted tonight, as long as no issues hopefully up over the weekend.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ Kind of truncated about their attempts at reconcitiation and how it ended. Happy to see that Lance saw the err in his ways about being married and how it tied into the story.
Lance and Ann will reappear in the last couple of chapter. I never planned to leave Lance in the doldrums, it was always planned to find a positive outcome for the character.
Glad there are more chapters. I think the part about Lance's update was great. I hope theres a more comprehensive finish for Matt and Tanya. Good stuff though.
Part 5 is in for release once reviewed it'll make it clear where the story is going to go. All that's missing is a big time gangster...pt 6 for that I'm afraid
Hmmm. Mixed feelings here. Thanks for allowing Lance a good life. And hopefully, Matt will reconcile with Tanya. She made a stupid and dangerous decision, but she was also taken advantage of and sexually assaulted.
Ann is where my mixed feelings come in. I'm sorry, but she behaved horribly. Yes, an open marriage is not smart in my opinion, but to create a whole other relationship. One that truly rivals your marriage. To not just be having sex, but making love. I just thought that was the ultimate betrayal. I mean to continue the affair even after your husband was noticeably becoming suspicious. Like what?! Many of her actions, especially towards the end of part one, were just the utmost of disrespect for her husband and her marriage. If she needed her husband around more, that's understandable. But tell him that. Don't go get basically a second husband who takes his place when he's gone.
I would really not like to see Matt end up with Ann or even consider it. Except for rare circumstances, I hate when a relationship born from betrayal succeeds.
Ironically, despite what she did and all I wrote, if she was with anyone, I'd hoped it would've been Lance. Though I see he's moved on. I guess I'm just a reconciliation person at heart. When earned and the cheating partner will remain faithful going forward.
Anyway, thanks for the update, excited to see how this all ends! :)
Oh no, after seeing your comment I'm getting a bad feeling. Please don't kill Tanya or make her a villain so that Ann and Matt can reunite. It's your story to write as you desire. But man, I hope that doesn't happen.
1 star - unfaithful in the line of duty is a pathetic ploy to try to add credence to an unsupportable plot.
The cover-up afterwards was more than enough evidence to stop any attempt to try a RAAC.
The penis went into her mouth and she sucked it - end of story - proceed directly to divorce and move on.
If you're going to write a lengthy story that isn't going to fit within a single category, put it in Novels & Novellas and add the appropriate category (or categories) as rosa-blanca.ru to each chapter (along with the regular rosa-blanca.ru). Spreading it out across categories is disrespectful to both your story and your readers.
I know I saw the first chapter. I might have seen the second chapter, but probably didn't recognize it as I have a rather narrow interest in the Romance. I'm pretty sure I missed the third chapter as I tend to avoid that category unless it pops up on a tag search. Now, here's chapter 4 back in a category I do read. Annoying...
How many times can an Englishman mention having or making tea in a 6700-word story? Is it enough to lead to an answer?
What a saga and l’ve enjoyed the journey. The entire tale has been turned on it’s head, but l don’t think it’s over yet
5/5
Too much a RAAC, as in ALL costs.
And did Tanya quit? Or do Smith, Jones, and Thomas own her soul?
Of course it was the drugs .... or was it pms .... or was it menopause??? The thing is there's always an excuse when a cheating, narcissistic wife "sluts" herself out and then gets caught. What you will "never" see with any of these "cheating WHORE wife Apologist" writers, is their female protagonists accepting responsibility for their despicable betrayal of their husbands! Don't want to disappoint the degenerate CUCKroachs or portray the "wife" as anything but a faithful and virtuous spouse. Throw in an undeserved RAAC ending and "voila", you have another "cuck shit" Loving Wife story!
Not going to score this because it clearly is a bridge to more but I think it would have worked better as part of whatever is next.
HHHMMM Definitely an improvement on chapter 3 page 3 BUT now you have me roped in I just have to finish it I know I am a succor. BUT even I had to wade thru 137000 word of consequences and I still do not know what happened in the end Keep writing mate (jaybee186)
I am kind of disappointed that there was no conversation about smith and Jones about the conversation his wife were engaged in. The confrontation that ensued where he was assaulted.
I enjoyed the story. I thought it was great story. Some loose ends in the story that needed to be closed. For instance, regarding about Smith and Jones. Why were they interested in Tanya? What was their discussion about? It sounded like they going to be part of the plot. If they were irrelevant , why were they even included in the story? Reconciliation with Lance was good element in the story. Otherwise, not a great ending. I encountered a lot of typos . Also, a lot of words either misspelled or misused. A lot of poor sentence structure. All of this increases difficulty for your reader to maintain continuity with the story. If you intend to be a good writer proof read, proof read and proof read some more from your readers perspective.
This was a short one... 4 stars for this part. Still following the bread crumbs you've left.
I thought the meeting with Lance was just a bit odd in how it finished, but I got a vibe that Ann will be showing back up.
Moving on with Matt...
so lance a guy the was cheated on by his then wife protects a guy the screws married women?
The story just doesn't ring true. Did Ann really love Lance that much, and Matt that little?
I don't think the story supports that. But I appreciate that like all LW stories the wife has to be an immature delusional clown, so that she can be hurt by the destruction of her marriage. Rather than just having a sense of relief that the nightmare is over, and I'm betting that this is true for so many military wives; caught in the cycle of hubby working overseas, not knowing if he'll come back or what state he'll come back in, and what kind of incurable std he'll be bringing home.
Ann was an adult, and not only that but one that we're told was desired by everyone around her. She's not going to cry like a 16 year old over spilt milk, nor is she going to be that bothered about the loss of her husband's pay packet, which won't have been that great. As a nurse, she has the analytical skills to assess the situation, make the best decisions as to how to move forward and do so. Honestly, no woman that has an 'open marriage', that breaks all the rules for her present partner, gives a flying fk about the end of her marriage to an absent husband.